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It sounds to me like she has disengaged and you are trying very hard and it could be a bit smothering. I think if you let her know simply that you are aware that you have hurt her and caused her pain and you desire to do things better and hope she can give you both that chance to repair things. I would also suggest some couples counseling so you have a safe place to talk about the issues. I hear that you want things as they were but forcing it and pushing her may only drive her away. Ask her if she wants the marriage and if so if she is willing to work on things together and in therapy. That will be your best avenue.