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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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My ex girlfriend said she did not want to be with me, she

Customer Question

My ex girlfriend said she did not want to be with me, she doesn't want to see me, but she wants to text me all day everyday and continue to try to work things out. I'm constantly hurt and upset with the situation but I love her to much to let go. I don't know what to do.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I'm Alicia. Thanks for asking your question - I'm happy to help you today.
I can see how you would be confused, hurt and upset by her behavior -- she's sending mixed messages and it's not easy to know what she wants. It's also not fair to you if she tells you she doesn't want to be with you or see you but then continues to contact you all the time. It sounds like she might be regretting saying that she doesn't want to be with you but doesn't know how to apologize or take it back, and she might truly want to work things out with you, but it's really hard to say for sure. My advice would be to have an honest talk with her and let her know that you don't understand why she keeps texting you and saying she wants to work things out if she doesn't want to be with you. She's the only one who can say for sure -- and I also think it wouldn't be weird for you to set boundaries with her, such as letting her know that if she doesn't want to be with you that it's too painful for you to keep hearing from her via text all the time. I don't know if that means you need to cut off contact with her (you have to decide what you can handle and how much contact is too much for you) but I would say that she should definitely reduce the amount of time she spends texting you if she is not interested in working things out.

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