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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1694
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I've been struggling with dealing with another mom since the

Customer Question

Hi! I've been struggling with dealing with another mom since the day I met her last year (our children were in Kindergarten -I realize this sounds ridiculous at this level...)....anyhow, from the time that I met her when her son came over, she cornered me and proceeded to try and bad mouth quite a few people (one is a mutual friend of ours that lives across the street from her who has a little boy in 1st grade). I knew enough to steer the conversation away and to when I couldn't to put a positive spin and reject what she was saying without being rude. However, the behavior keeps escalating and every time that I see her (I am not trying to make plans actively with her -just run into her or are with other people), she keeps talking about other people in our class AND their kids. The one child in particular is the one across the street from her (and she knows the parents are our friends). She keeps saying that he "SCREAMS AUTISM" and goes on to bash every behavior that he has and the lack of parenting skills (the best part is that this woman is a special education teacher in a different school district). She also keeps badmouthing another child and claiming the dad is an alcoholic and that the parents are neglecting him (they are divorced). She did this again about a week ago in front of another mom from our class and proceeded to identify the child that she believes has autism...but was going on and on about how he said he wanted to kill her and that the mom did nothing. We are in an affluent school district -the people are mostly educated (just adding in to explain the area)...I am an "older" mom who only has one child -had later in life after working for 16 years after college -now a SAHM...but I have my own struggles with suffering from abuse and trichotillomania (hair pulling) since I was 6 -I have no eyelashes/brows by the end of any given day. It is hard for me to make friends (although I appear "normal" -I wear makeup and a smile and fit in to the world -I suffer internally from very low self esteem. I keep attracting people like this into my life and it is becoming very depressing. However, this woman has me so irate that I feel like I want to report her somehow. Trying to rationalize with her will only make me more of a target (and I fear for her mental stability as her brother committed suicide a few years ago). For whatever reason I get the feeling she is jealous of me and is trying to gobble up all of the friends in class for her son -while leaving us out. She pretends occasionally to be my friend with a text...but I get a very uneasy feeling with her. For whatever reason it does not appear others have picked up on her true colors -I don't get it. I'm a solid, kind and trustworthy person who tries to be a good person and friend...yet this woman is running around telling vicious lies and spreading rumors about other children yet people still want to associate with her? How can I report her anonymously? I am extremely worried about our mutual friend but she is not enough of a close friend that I feel comfortable saying anything to as it might get somehow turned around on me...thank you for your time.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
PS Avoiding her is not the issue here -my problem is that I am worried about the children she is badmouthing and have a huge hunch that she is doing the same thing about my child (who does ADHD -I've never told her but I know another mom overheard this at the parent teacher conference) and he is sensitive -will cry a bit. I can't avoid her as she is again always involving herself with everyone...
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.


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