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Michael Hannigan
Michael Hannigan, Consultant
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  25+ Years in the field
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Did my wife have a drunk one nightstand while out of town 2

Customer Question

Did my wife have a drunk one nightstand while out of town 2 nights ago?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
When she was at the bar she text me how many drinks she had which was a lot for her! She text most of the time she was there and even said my song is on goin dancin, wich she cant remember that at all and said she danced with noone. There is over 2 hrs she wouldnt answer anything and when she did answer she was extremely horney! Back in her room!!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She was with a friend for most of that night and when i talked to her she said she did meet a nice looking black guy that she was being very flerty with. When I asked my wife if she danced with anyone she said no. So last night I told her I was going out with a female friend to catch up and normally has no problem with us hanging out, this time said she doesnt trust her to be with me if you are going to be drnking??
Expert:  Michael Hannigan replied 2 years ago.

Hello. My name is***** can help you with your question.

Probably. Almost invariably, your intuition on a matter like this is correct. Fortunately, I think that if she was that drunk she wouldn't be capable of completing the act even if her intentions were otherwise. Just keep in mind that when someone is that far under the influence, it's not the same person you're married to. I suspect she probably really doesn't remember. So even if she did nothing wrong, she was just reminded of what could potentially happen when people are drinking heavily.

Really, the best policy is to be honest with her and ask. Trying to play detective for obsessing over the details trying to catch her an ally is far more stressful than it's worth. I trust my spouse is much as I can trust the person, yet, I've never been comfortable with "ladies night out" or "guys night out" because it fosters insecurity. Regardless of who somebody is and how upstanding they are bad things can more often happen when drinking gets out of control and we really are best off not putting ourselves in a position like that. If you are going to see this friend, the best thing you can do to foster trust is to introduce them to each other. It will encourage her to do the same if she has or develops any male friendships.

I would consider the fact that she's insecure about you going out as a good sign that her intentions overall are not bad regardless of what happened or didn't happen. If she had absolutely no concern with you going out with women, I would consider that a bad sign as opposed to the way she's acting. I consider this a good sign.

Remember to, there is a huge gap between meeting a nice looking black guy and sleeping with him. Everyone flirts, because it makes us feel good. You probably done or said things when you're alone that you wouldn't necessarily want her to have seen even though it wasn't necessarily "wrong". We all do it, so I would cut her some slack. But, it's obviously a serious situation if you do find out otherwise.