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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1704
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I have been married 1/2 years. We have no kids as yet.

Customer Question

I have been married for 3 1/2 years. We have no kids as yet. My husband and I have been fighting and can't seem to be getting anywhere. I have a big problem with the amount of time he spends with his smartphone. I am self employed and is also self employed
and with his job, he spends a lot of time on the phone, but at the end of the day, he is still on the phone reading "news", FB, Watsapp, etc.. I had a problem with him communicating with someone, he continued to communicate with that person and would then
delete the conversation afterwards. When I confronted him, he claimed that the person only says "hi". I told him once he deletes something it means he has something to hide. He said I was overreacting. Once I miss him from around me and I check, he is almost
always with his phone, most times not talking but "reading" or "texting". I am now sick and tired of talking about it. We have been fighting and things would change for 1 day only to go back to the same old. He claims that he spends his time on the phone reading
the news. We have also been fighting about sex. He wants more (daily) and I can't give him more unless I am happy in this marriage. I told him that and he said that he doesn't get enough and that is why the phone gets the attention. I am frustrated because
I can't even have a meaningful conversation with him. He never really find the time to have a heart to heart with me. I would usually wait until he has no distractions then approach him on my concerns and he would sometimes not even answer me, he would just
listen and then change the topic at the first opportunity. He would see me looking sad, I am sure he would notice because I can't hide it, I would just say very little when I am depressed, yet he would not even ask me what is wrong and try to make it right.
I told him that one day he will have everything he wants in life and realize I am not there to share it with him. HE would tell me that he can't do without me and he needs me and that he loves me- all when we are in bed. Before i knew my husband, I had a boyfriend
for 5 years and broke up with him immediately after he cheated on me and I found out on Facebook. I am scared that my husband might be cheating and hiding it. My husband was married before and broke up with his ex after she cheated on him.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrPsychologist replied 2 years ago.
The fact that he is asking you for more sex sounds like he has not cheated/is not cheating physically. Would you like a referral to a couples therapist in your area? If so please indicate the closest major city to you.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks for your response. I am in South America. I don't mind seeking help from a therapist (in office) but I don't think my husband will want to and since we are popular people, i don't think the confidentiality will be there. In past relationships, i have been able to communicate with my partner. I just need to know how to get through to my husband, how to make him understand that I am trying to work things out because i love him. He doesn't see that i am hurt. Ignoring our problem doesn't make it go away.