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Martin, Engineer
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4944
Experience:  i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
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Hey..I have a friend who is going through a tough phase in

Customer Question

Hey..I have a friend who is going through a tough phase in life. She is in love with a guy who is already in a relationship with anther girl. But she feels sometimes that he is attracted to her because of which they even shared a physical relationship several times. But that guy is committed to another girl and does not talk about the things happening between him and my friend. She feels sad about the fact that everytime he initiates something like this, she cannot refrain. She loves him a lot but does not understand what to do. I really get worried for her. Kindly help
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Martin replied 2 years ago.
Hi. She like him, she know that the other girl like him probably as much as she does and she know he like the other girl more (note that there may be other factors, like personal wealth etc..).
There is two confusing love. In one you want the other to be happy because you love him/her, in that love you can sacrifice yourself for the happyness of the loved one. The other love is not really love, it is a selfish desire of ownership, the other is almost an object.
If she just want to own him, there is nothing to do, she need to learn true love the hard way. At best you can divert her need to another guy.
If she really love him, she need to be helped to accept the fact. It is probably an irrational problem in her mind right now. You need to make her understand rationally. Then empathy of seeing the other guy happy should make her happy (for him) at the same time by a simple shift in point of view in the mind.