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VA-NP, Nurse (RN)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 16310
Experience:  Nurse Practitioner
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I have been living with a woman years, since we bought

Customer Question

I have been living with a woman for 7 years, since we bought a house together. I've been in a relationship with her for 20 years. I gave her a saphire & diamond ring (approx $5K) about ten years ago - but not as an engagement ring. We are not engaged. I am 59, she is 58. So -- a couple of questions: What is the etiquette/protocol to ask her to marry me? Do I need to give her (another) expensive ring? Do I propose with a wedding band? Help!!!
I (we) don't like to be center of attention - so don't want a big wedding/cermony either. Help! Suggestions???
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Also, she is divorced. I wasnever married.
Expert:  VA-NP replied 2 years ago.
Welcome to Just Answer and thanks for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will do whatever I can to help you.
There really is no protocol about how you ask her. Most women want to hear that you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them. No additional ring is necessary, but you may want to give her an extra-nice wedding ring at the wedding ceremony. Some men propose with an engagement ring in hand. Others prefer to just ask the bride to marry them and then go together to pick out her ring. That may be best in this case since the lady is older and bound to have her own taste in jewelry well established.
Your ceremony can be as simple as you like. It can be just the two of you going to a justice of the peace, the courthouse, or your clergyperson marrying you and then away for a nice weekend honeymoon. If you want something a little larger than that, you can invite just your families and a very few close friends for a morning wedding with lunch to follow. There are no hard and fast rules any more about weddings.
I attended a lovely wedding last month in the couple's back yard. There were maybe 35 guests altogether. It was at noon, and was followed by a cookout. The flowers were from the family's and neighbors' gardens and the mother of the bride baked the two tiered wedding cake. It was a delightful wedding.
Whatever will suit the two of you is fine.
Please let me know if you have questions or concerns.
All the best,