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I'm going to make this as coherent as possible because of the…

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I'm going to make this...
I'm going to make this as coherent as possible because of the amount of thoughts in my head. So I'll start from the beginning. I met a man named Eric about 2 1/2 - 3 years ago. I fell in love with him instantly. We never pursued a relationship because he was friends with my dad, he talked to my dad a while back who essentially gave his blessing. So we started up a relationship 3 months ago. I never talked to him about how I felt, nor he to I. We had a heart to heart 3 days ago. We love each other very much, which is where the heartbreak comes in. He had fallen in love with a girl in his teen years (currently 27) that he hasn't seen in probably 10 years. She is coming up to help with his sobriety. I recently learned the extent of his alcoholism and the causes. (Molestation from close family friend and horribly beaten daily by his father.) He doesn't know how much Shani has changed and therefore if he is still in love with her or just their memories. The decision was made however to end things between us in case his love for her is still there. He had no intention of going behind my back and letting me know the whole situation. We have made the decision together that if nothing happens with Shani, that we will try us again. In the meantime, I made the decision to meet Shani, as heartbreaking as it might be. We have also decided to maintain minimal contact, but I still want to help him with the sobriety. I believe I may be the only person he's ever told about what's happened to him.
I however, am sick to my stomach over the heartbreak, literally making it difficult to eat. I wish to start the healing process in case the relationship is over for good, without cutting Eric out of my life so I can at least be there if he needs any emotional support.
I've decided to start the healing with working out. I would love advice on positive ways to keep up the healing process and anything at all you have to say about the situation with Eric. I also want to mention that I am hurt by all of this, but not angry. He never went behind my back and just recently learned Shani was coming.
Submitted: 3 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 4 hours by:
6/23/2015
Counselor: Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist replied 3 years ago
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,207
Experience: Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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