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Ask John-Michaels Your Own Question
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 570
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, what exactly is your relationship question that you would like to ask?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

ello April,

I've been dating my ex boyfriend for a year and a half. We had a very intense and beautiful relationship. However, toward the tail end of our relationship. He started to pull away and said that there is no future why continue. He had always wanted a family with kids and I am unable to give him kids due to my age. We have a pretty big age gap and at the beginning it didn't seem to be a problem but then the problem started when he said that the thoughts of having kids doesn't leave his mind.

We broke up but couldn't stay away from each other. We continue to see each other as we are pretty attached. I can feel that he was pulling away and fights started to creep in .

He has so many times contradict himself. He wanted us to be apart with no contact so that we can forget about each other and move on. We planned on being friends afterward.

My question to you is. What should I do to bring back the love that he once had for me? Is it even possible ? I go through pain of seeing him going from kissing me passionately to not even want to look at me in the eyes when we talk anymore. I'm not sure if I should continue seeing him or stop all together. I am in so much pain right now because I love him so dearly.

Also, what does it mean when he doesn't want to kiss me anymore but still want to hold me close, kiss my cheeks and just cuddle on the couch watching a movie.

I am totally confused ! not sure how he feel about me anymore. Could you please help shed some light into this situation for me?

I thank you for taking the time and effort and caring .

Kim Le

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I've been dating my ex boyfriend for a year and a half. We had a very intense and beautiful relationship. However, toward the tail end of our relationship. He started to pull away and said that there is no future why continue. He had always wanted a family with kids and I am unable to give him kids due to my age. We have a pretty big age gap and at the beginning it didn't seem to be a problem but then the problem started when he said that the thoughts of having kids doesn't leave his mind.


We broke up but couldn't stay away from each other. We continue to see each other as we are pretty attached. I can feel that he was pulling away and fights started to creep in .


He has so many times contradict himself. He wanted us to be apart with no contact so that we can forget about each other and move on. We planned on being friends afterward.


My question to you is. What should I do to bring back the love that he once had for me? Is it even possible ? I go through pain of seeing him going from kissing me passionately to not even want to look at me in the eyes when we talk anymore. I'm not sure if I should continue seeing him or stop all together. I am in so much pain right now because I love him so dearly.


Also, what does it mean when he doesn't want to kiss me anymore but still want to hold me close, kiss my cheeks and just cuddle on the couch watching a movie.


I am totally confused ! not sure how he feel about me anymore. Could you please help shed some light into this situation for me?


I thank you for taking the time and effort and caring .

Expert:  John-Michaels replied 2 years ago.
Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. Please note, this is not therapy, but information. I do hope I can help you though.
I am so sorry you are hurting so much. I believe he is hurting as well. To be honest though he is using you, he doesn't want you anymore so he can find someone who can give him children, but he is keeping you around for the comfort. I'm not sure this is intentional, as he seems to be fighting it, but it is evident anyway.
For his sake and yours, I believe maybe you should break it off altogether. He wants something that you say you can't give him. He has expressed his desires. It is time you both respect those desires and you feelings. As long as your around him, you are going to struggle with these feelings. I'm not convinced you can remain friends this way.
I know that was t really what you wanted to hear, but it seems to be the truth for you. Please let me know if you have more questions.