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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3527
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I am ready to pull my hair out. My boyfriend of 3 years

Customer Question

I am ready to pull my hair out. My boyfriend of 3 years broke off with me last week, basically because he doesn't feel I trust him. Well, when all his friends are ex girlfriends that he slept with and he never tells me anything ... it's like it's a secret.
I love this guy. We have a lot in common, share interests, great communication and great sex. This weekend, since our break up, (we still live together until I can move out), he was awesome in bed. It was like it was when we first started dating. I have now
told him, that since he doesn't want to be with me, we can no longer have sex. Not as punishment, but it breaks my heart to know that I'm just a f***. Was I wrong in being upset about past girlfriends and the secrets? Is there anything that I can do to try
to get him to understand and we work things out? We have before, but I don't know now. Help!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
If he hasn't given you any reason in the past to mistrust him, then why the mistrust..because you feel he is keeping secrets? How is he keeping secrets? Is it possible he does because he worries that you will be upset? It sounds to me like you need to have an open discussion about all of it and if he hasn't given you reason to truly mistrust him, then maybe you can be a bit more easy going around these friendships.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
I would let him know that because of how much you care and love him that you can feel worried about these exs being his friends and a little reassurance from him and openness can go a long way toward you feeling more secure.