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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Currently my gf saw the conservation msg with escort and

Customer Question

Hi. Currently my gf saw the conservation msg with escort and have lost the trust . what shall i do to improve on this
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Currently i suffer from porngraphy addiction. i always like to watch porn and also like to chat with with people in virtual plateform. My gf saw this a few time but she is always very angry and have lost her trust for me. In fact we are going to get marry
but she say she is not ready and say we cant be together. What shall we do?
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
In order to improve your relationship and gain your girlfriend's trust back, you need to address your addiction in two ways. One, acknowledge to your girlfriend and especially to yourself that you have an addiction and need support and help to resolve it. And two, you need to seek help and address your addiction.
Addictions are difficult to cope with because although you may see the bad results of your behavior, you may feel unable to stop it. Your girlfriend may feel that you are purposely hurting her even if you are trying to stop. That is why getting support is so vital.
If possible, seek out therapy. This is your first step. You need to talk to someone professional about what is causing your addiction. The therapist can provide ways to cope and how you can stop. You may also want to seek out groups geared towards addiction issues as your second step. Self help is another option as a third step in dealing with your addiction. Through self help, you can learn why people have addictions and how to stop being addicted to porn. Here are some resources to help you:
The other benefit to seeking help is that your girlfriend will see that you are serious about addressing this issue. That will help her gain trust. You can also tell her that you are working on this problem and show her that you are trying to stop. Ask for her support and even help in finding other activities that you can do alone or with her that help distract you, until therapy and other support starts to help.
I hope this has helped you,
May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
But it is difficult to quit and she always check on me and the trust is broken. Even I seek for a psychiatrist for help i don't feel like talking to him and he always tell m to eat medicine . Hope you can advise on this and rebuild back the relationship.
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 2 years ago.
Psychiatrists are medical doctors that focus on treating with medications. You need to seek out a Master's level therapist that does talk therapy. They can help you work on quitting porn and regaining the trust of your girlfriend.
The first step in dealing with this problem has to be your willingness to quit porn and to focus on your relationship. It makes sense that your girlfriend still cannot trust if you are not trying and continue to look at porn. So you need to decide if you are willing to stop looking at porn in order to save your relationship. Otherwise, she will not be able to rebuild her trust in you.
If you have any more questions do not hesitate to ask. And please do not forget to rate my service with an OK or higher. Thank you.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
what is Master's level therapist ? How can the person help me .How can I engage the person. Do u have someone in mind?
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 2 years ago.
A Master's level therapist is someone who has a Master's degree in psychology, social work or counseling. They are trained in talk therapy and do not prescribe medications. Their focus is on helping someone overcome their problems through talk sessions.
I'm sorry, but I am from the U.S. so I do not know any therapists in Singapore that I can personally vouch for. But I can provide you with resources to help you find a therapist.
Here is a list of therapists available in Singapore:
You can look through the options and pick therapists that have the background and experience you are looking for.
I hope my answers have been helpful to you. If you would, please rate three or higher so I can be paid for my expertise in helping you. Thanks!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Is there other way that can solve this issue? Do trust is that important in a relationship? Do we have a way to get together again?
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 2 years ago.
Unless you stop the behavior, it is likely your girlfriend will never be able to trust you. So either you address it or trust will be difficult to have.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
How do we address this problem? Currently in the market there so many noise. I want to but when this pop up a few time I will could not stop it. How to gain back the trust as this may come back again.I m determine to do but I don't know how.
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 2 years ago.
This is a different question than your original one. If you would, please accept the answers I have provided for you already and either start a new question or accept the additional services offer.
Just Answer is a site meant to answer specific questions with one or two follow ups. But if you wish to talk this issue out further and have additional questions beyond the scope of your original one, additional services can offer you a chance to talk this through. Thank you.

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