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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1700
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Am depressed because I love my husband, but there's no intimacy.

Customer Question

Am depressed because I love my husband, but there's no intimacy. For 10 years. In every other way, he's wonderful and we love each other. But he's got some kind of hang up about personal intimacy and sex. Have tried counseling, talking it out with him, for years, but nothing works. He masturbates discreetly. When we did have sex in the first couple of years of marriage, he mainly wanted me to do oral sex on him - totally unsatisfying for me. I don't want to leave him, but if really miss not having physical intimacy, even a kiss would be so appreciated.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.Hello, I believe I may be able to help you with your concern. I am sorry that you are having this issue with your husband, I can understand how distressing this can possibly be for you. I would like to ask you a few questions to get a better idea of what you are looking for, so that I can better assist you. 1. I know that this is very frustrating for you, but may I ask what exactly is your relationship question that you would like assistance with? 2. You know your husband better than I do, do you believe he will ever change and provide you with more intimacy in the future? 3. Also why was counseling not effective for your husband? Why do you believe that therapy did not work to help resolve this issue?