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Answered in 1 hour by:
8/29/2014
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6,199
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
VerifiedHello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like your girlfriend feels she cannot trust you because she found out what you did in the past on her own and not because you told her. That can undermine someone's trust in a relationship. And since trust is very important to the foundation of a relationship, lack of trust can end a relationship.
However, you can help rebuild the trust between you and your girlfriend. First, admit that you did something wrong. Own up to whatever you did and be as honest about it as you can. Second, own up to not telling your girlfriend. Tell her that you made a serious mistake not telling her. Third, express how sorry you are that she found out on her own. Let her know that you understand how deeply it must have hurt her. Finally, tell her that you learned a lot from this situation, that you will never do this again and that you are willing to do what it takes to earn her trust back again.
If you feel it would help, try therapy with your girlfriend. If you have a chance to talk this out between you with someone who can guide you both, it may go a long way in rebuilding the trust between you.
And ask your girlfriend what she needs from you in order to help her to feel better. Try to be patient. Trust takes a while to rebuild so it may be a bit before she feels she can trust you again. But as long as you both are working on it together, there is good reason to hope.
After you repair the situation, talk to your girlfriend about your desire to marry her. If you do it now, she may decide she cannot trust you and might turn you down. But if you show you care by working to rebuild trust, you will be closer than before and the proposal will have a lot of meaning to her.
I hope this has helped you,
Kate
May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
It sounds like your girlfriend feels she cannot trust you because she found out what you did in the past on her own and not because you told her. That can undermine someone's trust in a relationship. And since trust is very important to the foundation of a relationship, lack of trust can end a relationship.
However, you can help rebuild the trust between you and your girlfriend. First, admit that you did something wrong. Own up to whatever you did and be as honest about it as you can. Second, own up to not telling your girlfriend. Tell her that you made a serious mistake not telling her. Third, express how sorry you are that she found out on her own. Let her know that you understand how deeply it must have hurt her. Finally, tell her that you learned a lot from this situation, that you will never do this again and that you are willing to do what it takes to earn her trust back again.
If you feel it would help, try therapy with your girlfriend. If you have a chance to talk this out between you with someone who can guide you both, it may go a long way in rebuilding the trust between you.
And ask your girlfriend what she needs from you in order to help her to feel better. Try to be patient. Trust takes a while to rebuild so it may be a bit before she feels she can trust you again. But as long as you both are working on it together, there is good reason to hope.
After you repair the situation, talk to your girlfriend about your desire to marry her. If you do it now, she may decide she cannot trust you and might turn you down. But if you show you care by working to rebuild trust, you will be closer than before and the proposal will have a lot of meaning to her.
I hope this has helped you,
Kate
May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6,199
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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