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My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months now. A couple months ago on a break from school we had both...

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My girlfriend and I have...
My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months now. A couple months ago on a break from school we had both gone to different parties with friends from high school since we live hours away from each other. At the party I was at, I saw my ex girlfriend. I told my current girlfriend I had seen her and not known she would be there. My girlfriend told me to promise her that I would tell her whenever I saw my ex anywhere. Now I just found out that her ex was at the party she was at that night, and she never told me about it. I also catch her telling me some white lies as well. I don't know what to do or say, and should I be concerned?
Submitted: 4 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 1 minute by:
6/10/2014
Counselor: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 4 years ago
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: I have a doctoral degree in psychology and have a history of providing couple's and family therapy.
Verified

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your question

Dr. Z :

May I ask, what white lies have you caught her doing exactly?

JACUSTOMER-k55p8jpn- :

I catch her lying about where she is and who she is with sometimes

Dr. Z :

Okay I can see why that would be a concern for you and your relationship. She definitely should not be lying to you about these small things, but it is not definite evidence to suggest that she may be having an affair. I think you should confront her though and ask her why she has been lying to you more often about where she is and what she is doing, because it gives you the impression that she is hiding something from you

JACUSTOMER-k55p8jpn- :

Thank you. what should I do regarding this ex boyfriend situation?

Dr. Z :

Well you know that her ex-boyfriend was there, but do you know that she talked to him?

JACUSTOMER-k55p8jpn- :

No I don't know that for sure, but her best friends at home are friends with him

Dr. Z :

I think it would be best not to bring it up at this time because just because he was at the party, does not mean that she saw him or paid attention to him. If you bring it up in combination with the white lies, it may make her feel like you are jealous or insecure, so it would be best to just bring up the white lies as that impacts your relationship right now and addresses a more immediate situation

JACUSTOMER-k55p8jpn- :

Thank you, I appreciate your help.

Dr. Z :

You are most welcome, was there anything else I can assist you with?

JACUSTOMER-k55p8jpn- :

Do you think I should be worried or suspect?

Dr. Z :

At this point I would not focus on the worst case scenario, but you should be concerned about the white lies, although it could just mean that is trying to get some space with her friends is all. Still it should be discussed

Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: I have a doctoral degree in psychology and have a history of providing couple's and family therapy.
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