Im in a situation where Im back home living with…
Hi, I'm in a situation...
I'm in a situation where I'm back home living with my parents temporarily; I'm 29, and have spent a few years working abroad, but moved home to do a Master's Degree, which I just finished. I used to have a great relationship with my mother, but while I was away, she and my sisters got closer, although they've both now moved away themselves.
Lately, I've realised that our relationship isn't what it used to be. I myself have been through a pretty bad break-up (although it was about a year and a half ago), and have been doing a lot of self-reflection, and probably have been a little more sensitive and insecure than I used to be.
Anyway, I feel the connection we used to have is greatly diminished. Often, I get the feeling when I'm talking to her that she isn't really that interested; she tends to cut across me quite often (before I've even made my point), and seems to be more concerned with what she wants to say herself, than really listening to me. I guess there was always an element of this, but it usen't bother me, while now it actually puts me off discussing anything with her in any great depth.
She definitely has picked up on me withdrawing in these situations, and gets frustrated, and from her comments it seems like she thinks I have a problem discussing anything with her. Furthermore, she's made comments about how she can 'discuss these things with my sisters', and how they have no problems etc. which is quite upsetting for me. I feel she dwells on this, feeling victimised, and wishes they were around, as opposed to me.
Obviously, this is my perspective on the situation, but I honestly feel this sums it up. I don't intend being around home much longer, depending on my job situation, but this still really gets me down, because our relationship used to mean so much to me. I would love more than anything to be able to talk to her, and feel like she cares, and is listening - I honestly listen to so much that she has to say, and wish it was reciprocal, and that I feel a connection, felt affection.
I hate being in this situation, at this stage, and that our relationship has regressed. But I can't deny my feelings, and I feel so consumed by this at times. I'm not sure it's something I can discuss with her, without it turning into a full blown argument, or hurting her feelings. I guess I'm just hoping to put some perspective on this, and rise above it, or if you feel there is something I should discuss with her, what it might be.
Many thanks in advance!