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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5838
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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i lost my husband of 36 years 3 years ago, since then I have

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i lost my husband of 36 years 3 years ago, since then I have remarried but when I have a few drinks I tell my new husband I am done with him. this hurts me so for he is such a loving man and loves me so. I never had this kind of anger after a few drinks what is my problem I want to stop this
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like when you drink, you may let down your inhibitions and your feelings about your loss come out. Telling your new husband that you are done with him could mean that you miss your first husband. Losing your husband after 36 years can cause deep pain and even though you may have worked through your grief, you may still have some pain associated with your loss. Your new husband may only remind you that your husband has passed away and what you lost. Although this is not your new husband's fault, or your fault, it is natural to feel as you do.

You could also still be grieving. If so, it would help you to consider seeing a therapist to help you work through the rest of your grief. It is not unusual to experience deep seated grief after the loss of a long term marriage.

You also could have some unresolved feelings about a conflict with your new husband. Even if you have a great marriage and he is very kind to you, he still could do something subtle to hurt you and because of your loss, it seems bigger than it normally would be. You can try exploring your feelings and paying special attention to what you are feeling about your new husband. If it helps, keep a journal or talk to a good friend or family member just to explore your feelings.

In the meanwhile, reassure your husband that you are working on your feelings and that you are sorry for what you said. As long as you try to stop what is going on and you communicate with your husband about your feelings, you should be able to resolve this. If you find you cannot, try therapy. It will help provide support for you and help you get to the bottom of what is wrong.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate











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