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I met a guy two years ago who seemed to really like me. He

I met a guy two...
I met a guy two years ago who seemed to really like me. He came on really strong and then sort faded out. He contacted me about 5 months later to apologize. He made plans with me a few times but then cancelled at the last minute. We hung out a few times and it seemed like he no romantic interest in me at all anymore. We talked on and off for several months, mainly through text and he talked about us getting together but it never happened. The on and off again texting continued for a few more months (I really don't think he talks much on the phone or texts friends or family much either). In July, he called me and initiated plans. We hung out a few times and again he seemed really interested in me. Then he cancelled plans at the last minute again. After that I just let it go and we didn't communicate at all. We hadn't seen each other for a few months and then he popped up again. Lately when I do see him, he acts like he's physically attracted to me and we do hook up. No sex though, which he seems ok with and when we do hang out it tends to be for hours.

I really like him and I'm confused and just always feel hurt when I don't hear from him. The other piece is that I have two masters degrees and I'm working on a doctorate now. I am busy and have been since I first met him which he has commented about several times. He does not have a college degree. He's a roofer and isn't happy with his job and doesn't know what he wants to do.

I know I should just forget about him but for some reason I really like him and I don't usually feel this strong. I've gone out on dates with other guys during the last two years but nothing has transpired and I have no interest in anyone else.
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Answered in 2 minutes by:
11/18/2013
RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this very frustrating situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What you describe here shows this person may like you but he does not respect you nor care about your feelings at all, but seems to have been using you whenever he felt like in the mood for it, and I agree with you that he knows how you feel, specially after this long, since you have allowed him to get close to you regardless the multiple past incidents, which could have been enabling it, and that's a core concern here, once you acknowledge how attracted you feel, specially because of not feeling that way with other people.

JACUSTOMER-j9tszpne- :

So I need to just forget about him and move on.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If what you expect is to be able to take good care of yourself, emotionally and also academically, it seems attaching to this person and the way he dismisses -neglects you would not help.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What leads you to believe he is good for you after all that happened?

JACUSTOMER-j9tszpne- :

I don't know.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You are hurting yourself and for the past 2 + years it has been this way, then it seems obvious to me that this is not healthy at all for you.

JACUSTOMER-j9tszpne- :

True. But moving on is just difficult I guess.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

When you say you know you should forget about him because of all that has happened here, all the multiple and painful red flags, but you keep hoping for something good to happen, you need to confront such tendency and remind yourself that what you need and deserve is real love, passion, respect and support, and that this person has been showing you for this long that he is unable and unwilling to offer any of them.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Only you know how tough it;s been for you, and that's why you need to address it in a very assertive and proactive way, otherwise you could get obsessed and self-sabotage even more.

JACUSTOMER-j9tszpne- :

Okay. Thanks.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're welcome.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions and to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible.

JACUSTOMER-j9tszpne- :

Okay. Good night.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Good night.

RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified
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RealSupport
RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
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