Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation.
Please, could you tell me more about your situation? For how long have you been together, which were the core issues leading to constant arguments, and how long ago did you start having this much destructive conflict in your relationship?
I see, but what causes the arguments, what triggers his anger, it is about any behavior you present, or his personal issues he does not know how to cope with and ends acting out in the relationship?
For any argument or conflict to happen, both need to play a role. One could initiate the conflict and the other's reaction would fuel it or not.
Now if he has a poor anger control, he would need to work on rehabilitating form it, learning effective and healthy coping skills, otherwise he would become abusive and the relaitonships could not heal nor grow, no matter how good intentions you may have.
I am very sorry to know about your loss and all the painful circumstances you have been enduring. But to justify your fights that way could be very unacceptable, manipulative and even abusive, since your situation could only make you more vulnerable to suffer abuse but dose not explain the fact he has an anger problem and cannot control it to he point of becoming this abusive.
He doesn't? That's very shocking, frustrating ad concerning, since without him acknowledging these serious personal anger issues, and taking full responsibility for his own feelings, choices, actions and reactions, there would be no way for him to commit to work on making changes, to rehabiltate from these problems-disorder not to benefit from professional psychological support, so necessary in cases like this.
Absolutely, I do totally support you and your plan, since i do nit see other way he could stop and reflect on his actions and the way his personal issues literally shape and distort your relationship and his experiences.
His denial, avoidance, justification and other serious issues would only get worse if not confronted with healthy boundaries and limits
I agree and support you. he is the only one with the power and responsibility to work on himself, and if he chooses not to do so, nothing and nobody could help him to build and enjoy healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as much as possible, OK?