my husband , I think, seems to need to feel wonderful, a great
guy, in other peoples eyes...
my husband , I think, seems to need to feel wonderful, a great guy, in other peoples eyes. He is a nice guy in the eyes of others, but to his family, he is not so nice. He cheated on me in the first 3 months of our marriage and then again 10 years later. He had an affair for 2 years with one of our waitresses, but when I found out thru phone calls and tapes of them in the motel room, he told her she had to quit, but still saw her again. Through that time we had sex, but It was me doing moatly everything, but he acted like he was happy. I was shocked to find out he was cheating again. He said it was just sex with her. And all thru our married life, he has always been more with the guys than family He is nice to us, but he needs attention from everyone. He is also very moody. He will come home and brag himself up about who said what about him, or all that he does for everyone else. And here we set. He golfs everyday until the weather gets cold. We live in Ohio. After golf, he coaches girls basketball. He spends hours and hours away for that. He brags on how the team is turning around because of him. I just listen and tell him how great he is in so many words. we are in our 60's and he is still needing this outside recognition. I recently told him that the basketball has got to stop if it interferes with our grandkids sports. He agreed. Tonight he had a scrimage that I could not go to. He came home but was not hungry. I said, did you grab something to eat on the way home, he then told me he went to a bar/restaurant with 2 girls that used to play for him ( they are daughters of our friends ) but are at BG College (where the scrimmage was) a wife of a friend, their daughter and a friend ( who are on the team) and another girl. I asked why did he go with them how did that come about? Why didnt he just come home. He hasnt been home for dinner in days? He said what do you thinkmI am doing, I just wanted to see the 2 from college. I told him I thought it was strange that he would want to do that. If ever we go anywhere, he has to walk around to see if he knows anyone. And then he stands and talks sports for 1/2 hour, usually about his basketball team. I guess what I am asking you is, am I wrong, or is it unusual for a man his age to need all of the outside attention. If he would give me a chance, I would be more than glad to be his fan so to speak. And .. if you think I am not all wrong, why does he need other people to praise him and tell him how nice,wonderful he is? I am speaking up for myself more and I did tell him he sure fakes it good to others, that they should see how he treats me at home. He is very nice if I dont disagree with him, but when I do, he starts to raise his voice and NEVER admits he is wrong. Maybe he has never loved me? I dont know. He was not able to complete sex with me several times and will not take viagra, so we stopped having sex, he just cant. But..... this type of needing others attention was going on way before the sex part, so it has nothing to do with that. Ok, thats all. so whats wrong with him? or me? Thanks for listening.