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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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How long should you stay in a relationship with a man that

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How long should you stay in a relationship with a man that is suppose to be making changes to the way he treats you before you realize its not going to work. No cheating involved, just doesnt treat me the way any girls should be treated. Constant mood changes, always thinks I want to run off and find a new guy. Says mean things to me and acts like my attitude shouldnt change toward him even though he doesnt change how he is to me. I mean you can onl put up with it for so long before you start treating him different right?
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Dear friend,

From your description, this relationship is not working and is causing you a great deal of distress.

It seems to me that he has some kind of personality disorder (possibly Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder), and is not likely to change,

You already know how he is and you can see that he follows a pattern of abuse towards you that is not likely to change.

I think you have already seen how this is going to continue. You are not going to become a mean person in response to his abuse. The only way you can change things and treat him differently is to leave him, and do not allow yourself to fall back into his clutches.

If you allow him to, he will talk you into staying with him, but he will never change. This is the way he is. Some women will unhappily stay in a relationship like this for years because they seem to have a need to be controlled and pushed around. They are part of a dysfunctional couple.

I do not think you fit this description.

If you see that there is no future in this relationship (and it does not look very good), then now is the time to leave. Make a clean and complete break and don't look back.

I shall keep you in my prayers for strength and courage.

Warm regards,


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