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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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how can I overcome obsession toward ex ? I recently broke

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how can I overcome obsession toward ex ?

I recently broke up with ex and I m trying to overcome the heart broken feelings
I met a few other guys and dated but the more getting intimate with others I cannot help missing the ex. so I eventually end up with withdrawing from guys.
I try rationalising that the break up should have happened. but at the deep in my heart missing him and hoping he will contact me . he has not been contacting me for 2 months . I m trying to give up and move on and be happy for myself. but at the deep in my heart again hurting and crying , deep emptiness, sorrow and the sadness are there all the time. it s vicious cycle as If I feel unhappy and feeling sad , which does not usually attract guys. they will love happy women. so I m trying being happy and smile and work as hard as before. deep in my mind I feel lonely and feel low self esteem and fear that I ll be forever single and living alone. I try treasure myself . I try determine that I should break up with him even though in case he contacts me for getting back . but I feel not confident and I feel scare I go back to on and off relationship again with him. I try liking someone else so hard. I start dating others. but I cannot feel any sparks and feel awkward when especially get physical intimacy with them. I again shut down and I feel frustrated with myself who cannot move on and give up with ex. is there any thing I feel better
Hello. The short answer here is time. You said you recently broke up with your ex. You can't expect yourself to get over anyone in a short amount of time. It could take a very long time. All of the things you are feeling are normal. All of the things you are doing to try and get over him are what you should be doing. There is nothing more that you can do. You need to be patient. I know it hurts and it is frustrating, but there is a grieving process that goes along with breaking up with someone. I really wish I could tell you there was a magic answer where you could wake up tomorrow and feel 100% better and have no stress about this at all, but that is impossible. Staying busy is important. Don't force another relationship. Try to focus on yourself and your own happiness. Focus on your own goals in that way and not worry about being single or with anyone. You need to be happy with yourself. Take one day at a time and with time, your pain will pass.
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