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Hi, I am 42 old female and masturbates unconsciously in my

sleep. I don't drink...
Hi, I am 42 old female and masturbates unconsciously in my sleep. I don't drink and not taking any new meds.
I have fantastic sex with my husband. He is getting frustrated with this. I am not diagnosed with any sleep disorders. Just have financial issues.
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Answered in 15 minutes by:
11/7/2013
RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know how this situation has been affecting you.

Customer:

Plse can you help me with this problem

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me how you feel about it and how has it been affecting your marriage?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For how long have you been experiencing this problem and what does your husband tell you about it?

Customer:

I feel embarrassed by this and it's causing fights

Customer:

A few weeks and he does tell me about it

Customer:

What can I do to stop this

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Coudl you please tell me more why he is feeling this upset about it to the point of becoming this hostile or abusive?

Customer:

Not hostile but it's causing a problem

Customer:

Is there something that I can do to stop this

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

First it is essential to understand that this is something that you cannot consciously control, and to blame or punish yourself or to be pushed by your husband because of it is the last approach you need here, since it could only cause and promote more pain and distress.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

First you need to relax, to do focus on doing everything you can to slow down, in order to better cope with financial and any other issue or stressor affecting your life, and obviously, your husband needs to play a gentle, understanding, loving and supportive role.

Customer:

So are you telling me that there is nothing that can be done

Customer:

He is understanding but it's a problem

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am telling you that there is a lot you can do about it, that this is something you are not willingly and consciously creating to hurt yourself or your husband, but that is fueled by stress and a way your body and mind have to get some relief from this stress you experience n your day to day life, and that working on reducing theta level of stress, improving coping and getting better understanding,empathy and support from your husband without reacting this negatively about it, this natural process would go away, leaving you more relaxed and wiser too.

Customer:

So is this caused by stress

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Most of the time, it is as well as by any other negative feeling or emotion that the person does not know how to effectively cope with

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you try this and it does not work, then please look f or professional psychotherapy to work on it

Customer:

I have been reading about this and found out that a lot of women suffer from this. It's a sleep disorder but it doesn't say what can be done. Is there something I can take for it

Customer:

I want to stop this as it is very embarrassing

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you feel this overwhelmed by it and unable to cope, then please do not delay getting professional support through psychotherapy, which would be the most direct and effective way to approach it and work on a solution.

Customer:

Thanks

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or to follow u, since I am here willing to support you as possible.

Customer:

This didn't help much cause I thought that u would have a solution to this issue.

Customer:

After reading peoples stories , I knew this but thought that you could help me

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry but nobody can give you a solution for your life personal or marital problems, people and help you to work on yourself and life in order to make necessary changes, to better understand your self, for you to work on your own rehabilitation and grow, but not to resolve your problems as nobody can live your life for you. This website is for general information only to guide people on their concerns, and it is not to resolve problems nor to replace counseling or psychological treatment, and it's obvious you need and to get professional psychological support since you and your husband feel overwhelmed by this situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I will opt out this questions for other experts to reply, perhaps you could get better support, including suggestion to try psychiatric medication, which I would not suggest, but you are the only one who could decide what you want to afford here. Thank you and take good care.

Customer:

Thanks

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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,334
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
Verified

Hi! I'll be glad to follow up on your discussion with Rafael and help you with this issue.

I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You have a loving and good relationship that is satisfying to you. You have a good life with your husband. You have stress because of financial issues. This, however, is common to most people today, no matter what country they live in. You've had medical examinations and they came back normal. This is good, but it makes the situation even more frustrating and mysterious. It is really frustrating, for sure.

Because you have already checked things out medically, the solution will have to come psychologically. However, we can't really try to find the solution with traditional psychodynamic psychotherapy. This is the type of long term therapy where you work to bring out into consciousness those things that you might not be aware of in yourself. And the unconscious masturbation would eventually emerge and be understood. But that route takes a long time and is thus expensive. And you're having financial difficulties, so this traditional solution is not really a good one for you.

I rarely recommend hypnotherapy. But here I'm going to. Because there is no other symptom of a life problem that is debilitating going on. Please note I am talking about only hypnotherapy, which is a recognized form of psychotherapy used by psychologists and psychotherapists. So I'm not talking about people who put in ads in newspapers for hypnosis. Maybe those are useful or maybe not, I can't say. But a psychologist trained in hypnotherapy is a real licensed therapist. Even so, here's the important statement about hypnotherapy: hypnotherapy can help with a specific problem and that's why I'm thinking of it. HOWEVER, there are good and honest hypnotherapists and there are other types. Your only way of assessing is two ways: first, make sure he or she is a licensed psychologist or psychotherapist. Don't let anyone tell you they are a licensed hypnotherapist. There is no licensure in most states in the US, for example, that I know of. It's all a "self-licensing" which is not good enough. So you want to know his or her license number as a psychologist and call the appropriate licensing board to make sure there have been no complaints filed. Please do not skip this step.

I don't know what the licensing agency is in South Africa, so this will be an important thing for you to find out so that you can choose the hypnotherapist wisely. However, I think this right now is your best solution because hypnotherapy typically does not take very many sessions. Thus, the financial burden should not be as great on you as traditional therapy. And the results should be quicker since you don't have other life problems going on.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,334
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
Verified
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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5,334
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