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RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I met a woman on an online dating site 6 months ago. We have

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I met a woman on an online dating site 6 months ago. We have been dating and everything has been pretty great. We've explicitly discussed that we are only interested in a committed relationship and that we aren't seeing other people. Yesterday while she was showing me an email she was sending, I caught a glimpse that her inbox was full of messages from the same dating site. I went back on the site and found that her profile was posted and she has been active within 3 weeks on the site. Part of me feels sad that I can't provide her with whatever she is missing. It feels like we have a really great connection. On the other hand, I feel cheated. Suggestions?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about this concerning and frustrating situation

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This has been an exclusive relationship , right?

Customer:

yes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

and both agreed that you were officially dating and would not be looking for dating other people, correct?

Customer:

yes. that's correct.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then I believe the only assertive approach here is to confront her behavior, since this is inconsistent with your relationship

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Her actions are not matching her words and commitment, and to find out she has not been honest is shocking, and must be addressed, not denier or avoided, or you would self-sabotage and expose to further dysfucntion

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I can see you truly feel and believe you have this connection and have been consistent with it all this long, but now the problem is not about you missing something, but about her not playing a healthy role in this relationship, since she has been dishonest.

Customer:

OK. thanks

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome

Customer:

I suspected that you would advise to confront her. I fear the trust between us needs rebuilding.

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