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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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11/02/2013 A couple of weeks ago a new girl started working

Resolved Question:


A couple of weeks ago a new girl started working with me. When I met her I did not pay much attention to her. I did notice that she was quick to learn, which impressed me. Well, she's been working 2 to 3 days out of the week and I've got to know her more. She is a few years younger than I. She is pretty and petite. I usually am not attracted to petite women. I like them medium build. Well, I kind of sense this girl is attracted to me. She looks at me a lot and is very friendly. When we talk she smiles at me very much and is very attentive to what I say.

One day a new customer came into our store and thought she was my wife. She and I were behind the counter. I just smile and said no she is my girlfriend. Well she did not say anything(not customer) and only smiled. Another customer also said the same. I guess we make a good couple.

Well, anyway I think this girl really likes me. I think she's pretty, sexy and smart.

Well, one day after work I decided to ask her out to dinner. She did not say no, only that she would see me at a movie showing on Tuesday ( we got free tickets from an owner of a local magazine). Well I work that day and can't go. Well she did give me her number, but I'm not sure what I should do. Should I call her or ask her out again in person and wait for a reply. What should be the best approach?
Thank You.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

By all means, call her and tell her that you would love to meet her at the movie but you have to work that day. Ask her what she is doing after the movie when you get off work and if she would like to go to dinner with you?

If you don't aks her she will feel stood up and may feel hurt because she is excpecting you to be there.

This sounds like a wonderful budding relationship. There is not reason not to encourage it, and it is important not to let a little misunderstanding discourage it. You seem to be on your way to something very special.

I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Thank you, Ari. May God bless you and give you both great success in this relationship.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Well I'm confused with this girl. I been texting her for the past few days and she has responded. The messages are simple hello and how u doing. Now when i called her the day before yesterday she did not know who has calling, though i was texting her some days before and my number appeared on the messages she received. When she answered my call, i did not ask why was she responding to my texts though she did not know my number. I was thinking this to be odd. Well, I spoke with her for 6-7 minutes then said good night and i would see her tommorrow (at work).

Well we had a good work day. Then at closing time we left the store and i walked her to her car. I went to my car to drop off my portfolio and went back to her car to talk to her. Well i asked her when i could see her. I would like to take her to dinner or a movie. She then said that it was hard for her to go out because she was busy with her school, work and daughter. I said to make time one day, she said she would see, but was not very convincing. So i told her she had my number and to call me, she said ok. I then left. Later that evening i was expecting a text message from her; like have a good night or talk to you soon, but there was nothing

So i'm not sure if i should wait a few days and see if she is intrested or just not think about her much and move on.

I do like her but i feel like i'm getting the run around. Or maybe I'm overreacting. Well what would be the best direction to take?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Dear Ari,

You have made your intentions very clear. For you she is a potential love interest. It seems that for her you are that very nice man she works with and has a personable relationship at work.

She is giving you signals that she is not interested in expanding the relationship/friendship beyond work for unknown personal reasons or preference.

She has your number, she knows that you are interested in her., and she has not taken the next step, which indicates her choice or preference.

I suggest you back off just a bit. Continue to be friendly at work but don't make the extra gestures for they are not getting the intended results. You don't want to cause her discomfort.

If she wants more, at this point, she will let you know. Don't act insulted or angry or be unfriendly. Just take her lukewarm reaction as her message and return to a more professional business relationship as your main intention.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you