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John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 573
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Hi Elliott, We were selling the van and I asked my husband

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Hi Elliott,
We were selling the van and I asked my husband about why he's doing the Bill of Sale, I'm not familiar with the process of selling a car here. He was in the middle of things and he shouted at me at the top of his lung. That gave mr a stomachache and I felt so stressed. Was it domestic violence? I'm thinking of suggesting going to counseling with him. He has a behavior problem with me and I'm having a bad feeling of it .
Hi, I'm Josie and I am a moderator for this topic. I sent your requested professional a message to follow up with you here, when he is back online.

If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. Please note, this is not therapy, but information. I do hope I can help you though. I see your question was posted originally for a colleague, so if you wish I will gladly opt out and let him respond when he comes back on line. I am sorry your husband responded this way and I see it has hurt you deeply. If this were an isolated incident it would be difficult to call it domestic violence. I am assuming though it is a recurring issue and most definitely is causing you emotional pain. Yes I believe counseling would be good for the two of you. Even if your husband does not attend with you, I would suggest you attend alone. It could help you discover maybe ways to cope with your husbands behavior that would release the distress on you. I am not seeing from your duologue that you necessarily fear physical harm. If you do though you should seek shelter. Even aside from physical threat, no one deserves to be screamed at especially for no apparent reason. If you haven't already. at a minimum if you feel safe in doing so, I would suggest you discuss your husband's behavior with him when things are calm. It might help to just bring it to his attention that it is hurtful to you when he acts this way, but only do so if you feel safe. This may be a good time to discuss counseling as well. If you have more information that might shed light on this please feel free to share and I will respond. Otherwise I hope I have been a help to you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi again,


Thanks for your answer. Well, we got married almost a year now. I'm travelling to my home country for 3 weeks because of some family matter. I found out today he wrote to his former girl friend to come down to visit him when I'm away. I was so shocked!!! His former girl friend turned him down and said it was not right to do so though she still loves him and cares about him. She said when she come again to town, she will call first and would like to meet his wife and the family.


I have respect to his former girl friend but not to my husband. I'm so weary now leaving the country for so long. He may find chances to flirt with other female and be unfaithful to me.... To complicate the matter worse, we are buying a house and I'm the one to put in the 20% deposit with my life saving. The reason we buy a house is because I'm bringing two kids to the States with me, we need a bigger place. He said he is paying rent now and rather put the rent into paying a mortgage. I just got my temporary permanent resident in the States and need to wait for two years to get my regular residency here according to the immigration procedures here. How should I protect myself?? I'm really worried...

It sounds as if your husband has given you ample reason to distrust him. If possible I would probably put off any financial commitments until I felt I could trust him further. There may be some sort of written agreement you could have drawn up that would protect your financial interests. As for the immigration issues, I do believe we Have immigration experts in our legal department that might be a me to answer any questions relevant to them. As for your your relationship with your husband, it seems to be very unstable right now. He needs to be confronted with his behavior. I strongly suggest counseling for the two of you. Aside from the residency questions it brings up, I would probably demand counseling and improvement on his part. I understand because of your residency status it is a bit more complicated. And yes, if you could postpone the trip I probably would until these matters were settled.
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 573
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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