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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Hello Elliott,

This answer was rated:

P.s. her son is a psychologist and believes she has ptsd and borderline pd.




Hello Elliott, good evening for you I hope. I wanted to run something uncomplicated by you. I have a friend with a chronic painful illness, so we have that much in common. However, she is 69 years old and is mostl in the bed. At times she talks about not wanting to live much longer on this earth and is tired of this life. Our conversations are always centered on pain. We both live and understand the life of chronic pain . Yet, it has become her identity and core focus. Today I told her....

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Dawn,

Your say that her son says she has PTSD and BPD but you have described a very depressed woman who is only taking a medication for anxiety (and panic).

You say that she "wounds easily". If she does have BPD then she does not want to feel rejected in any way, and you will have to walk on eggshells when you see her.

This will not make for very interesting conversation as you will always have to be on your guard.

If you have any interests that are neutral such as food, cooking, travel, or anthing that will not spark controversy, then stick to those areas.

What you told her was perfectly fine. Instead of telling her not to grieve or get stuck, avoid the issue and find a different focus. You have to lead from behind, directing the conversation subtly to the positive and keep her from indulging herself in self-pity and if she does, don't wallow in there with her.

Don't discuss this with her as it will go south very quickly. Be lighthearted. You might even bring have some of her favorite music to play and you can think about happy times.

Don't let her bring you down. You are much too precious for that.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you , yes, lead from behind. Thanks for all your comments.

You are very welcome. Accentuate the positive.


Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Got ya, will try that's a good idea

Decentuate the negative.

Don't mess with Mr. Inbetween.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Very good, well said. If u r on got another question, as i believe it is a Straight forward one (under seperate cover) if not it can wait..

It may take a few minutes but for you I will.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No rush at all, believe me

So, I rushed anyway. Sue me? :)