Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help with this situation
Your friend has been trapped for 9 years already, and has not left, having found one reason or the other to stay around. I am sure that his partner has done his utmost to guilt him into staying.
The partner will use the cancer as yet another reason.
I am saying that this situation of being trapped is not new but only intensified.
Nevertheless, it is time for him to break free and have his own life. He does not need to be a reluctant caregiver to someone who is abusive and unappreciative, and this is neither his role or desire. He owes the abusive partner nothing.
This is a long and complicated process. I know of a wonderful book, very effective for several of my clients (I heard only praise) that will help him enormously. I urge him to purchase it as soon as possible. It is:
One other very powerful and helpful book, from a different, but equally effective point of view is the well-received:
With these two wonderful authors in his corner, breaking up and recovering will be so much easier.
These books will help him find the motivation and the words to begin the process, get through it, and get past it knowing he did the right thing.
I wish him great luck and shall keep him, and you, his great friend, in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC