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This question is a followup and continuation from my previous

entry. My boyfriend had flown out...
This question is a followup and continuation from my previous entry.

My boyfriend had flown out unexpectedly to be with his dad on his deathbed last week And passed this Wed.

I was going to fly out there but honestly was unsure but felt it was my duty as his girlfriend of 2 years to support and be there for him. ( he was with stepmom and other side of his dads family);

However, He flew back to home abruptly and he felt he did not need to be at the funeral and needed to be home ( he said bye to his dad in private).

I hung out with him the night he came back and gave him hugs And kisses and cuddled on the couch. I tried to be intimate with him but he didn't want to.

The next morning he said he wanted to drive 2.5 hours to the town he grew up in where his mom and his guy friend was to also go camping ( he feels the best when he goes camping)

I was at work and I just got teary eyed because I felt alone...I told him he has to do what feels right for him ( I'm trying to be a supportive girlfriend considering his dad died); but I couldn't help feel sad. He was going away for the weekend ( I asked if he wanted me to join him but he said he needs to go on his own)

So he calls me back at work asking if I was ok, I said im ok because if this Is what u need then do it. ( his dad died, how can I be selfish here?) and he says well," can we go to church on Sunday together" but I was like, ( I don't care in my heart because I felt sad)

So I said let's play by ear, and I hung up because I was at work;

I'm wondering if I need to end this relationship? Im not sure if I'm happy anymore and it's hard because his grandma and now his dad just passed... I feel guilty saying this because what he's been dealing with...
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Answered in 8 minutes by:
10/26/2013
RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified

 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

hello

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

sorry had technical issues

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

were you able to review my question?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

it's a long winded description...;)

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

There were no technical issues,

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry for that.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

oh, I wasn't sure so I rebooted everything a few times.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Let me read your question now that the question has been released by that expert

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok no problem

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I a sorry for this problem, it was out of my control.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

of course.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Le me read your question. Thanks.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about his loss, and to see how this has been this challenging to you

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

thank you for your kind words

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

it has been...I don't know what I feel really in all this anymore.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

i start to really question myself and that it's me asking for too much and I should just BE happy

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please tell me why you felt this overwhelemed to the point of ending the call the way you did?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

i was angry and sad at the same time...torn because I care and love him but also feeling like I want more time with him.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

i want to be intimate and do things together...plan our future, but I feel like I have one foot in and the other out.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

it seems like there is always something distracting him or us, whether our set-up that we work together or his family members dying, but when we are together like the other day, I hug him and know that I love him.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Just the very sad and painful feeling you reported before, since it's been like you have felt neglected for too long in this relationship, right?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, but then I try to shake it off, like it's me being too sensitive or something

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

and then when I make myself busy with other things, then I feel him wanting to spend more time...I start to be happy doing other things then he wants to hang and it's just confusing to me.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You said he has been this way for most of the relationship and only gave more attention when you started focusing on taking better care of yorruself, right?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think he has been trying to cope with this unresolved grief from previous loss, his father's health situation and now his death, but at the same time it is obvious you have felt neglected here since he has been too focus on everything around his family and not shown consistent caring and commitment in your relationship.

Customer: Yes but he would always give me space if I needed it. I guess I don't want to paint this picture that he doesn't treat me well because I think he has been good to me
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see.

Customer: He has gone out to dinner with me and we go to church most Sundays
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Did he ever apologized because of his reaction when you apparently ended the relationship and he asked when you were going to get your stuff, and did not show much caring?

Customer: but I have to mention that I tried once to break up with him about 2.5 months ago and I ran back to him after two days... I had anxiety and felt I needed to save us. Now I wonder if I'm going through the same pattern
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think that's the episode you mentioned the other day about

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You commented his reaction did not show empathy nor caring, did I get that right?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

thats correct

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I've learned that he deals with his emotions later and acts as if nothing happend in the beginning.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

like his dad passing...he treated it like project management and to get out of there after saying goodbye.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

he said he didn't want me to fly there and that he could use my support by being home for when the stuff hits him later.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I just can't help but think I could be happier sometimes.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then what I see is that while his core fault in this relationship has been how much he has been neglecting it because of his own unresolved grief and family responsibilities, you felt good with him, but then when this break up incident happened, his behavior was just very painful since it did not show he cared, but reinforced the neglectful approach, right?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

even happier alone, but then I thought that the first time I broke up with him and then ran back

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That shows how powerfully attached you are to this person

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

and your fears about being alone

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

but we have NOT been intimate since several months and prior to the break up it was getting very stuck, like we weren't moving forward.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, I definitely think I have issues of being alone

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I grew up with a twin/identical sister so I think there are some things there..

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It's obvious you have been having a tough time, truly overwhelming trying to cope with this conflict of feelings, between your attachment and affection, and his problems limiting his ability to be more present and reciprocal in the relationship.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, and I don't want to be a "needy" girfriend.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This is very long period of time for a couple not to be sexually intimate, what could be related to his grief and stress, but it does not make it easier for you for sure.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

i wonder if being alone is what I should do...as scary as it might be, sometimes I wonder if it should be...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Our personal issues from the past do always affect us in multiple ways, but we can and should change their impact if we do work on healing from them.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, it is a long time and we had issues before I broke up...he keeps a lot of stress in and went to the doctor to make sure he was OK. he was.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

so it was stress related in the beginning but now it's one thing after another...

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, I think healing from them is very important.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I guess I'm torn where to stand at this point.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It's been tough for both of you in very different ways it seems

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, I think so.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You said you were going to consider continue with individual therapy, what happened with that?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I just want to be happier and I spend a lot of energy thinking about this...

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

it's expensive,

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

having to find someone that is not too expensive AND reputable is challenging to find.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do totally support that. I think each of you need to work on your own healing. Obviously he has been doing that all this time, but you have felt very neglected and you have very good reasons to feel this way, you have been neglected. There were concrete reasons for him to justify many behaviors, but on the other hand the pattern and long term of this neglect is not healthy for you at all.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I guess I can try to find someone,

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes, affording therapy is an issue for many people, but it is necessary and worthy to find a good professional you could afford to work on yourself.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, so I always see both sides to the story and it can make things more challenging.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

true indeed.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please do also consider online counseling, it could be more affordable and you could find as good or better expertise that what is available locally.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I've been very happy with our chats and I thought I would try it again today.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

In case you want to consider it, I am also willing to support you with confidential counseling via Skype in case you want to try and feel it works for you, in case you do not find a good professional locally.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

Ok, I appreciate that! what do you charge?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think there is nothing more challenging than relationships, specially those we have with partners, they are truly tough many times, since they trigger and challenge so much in us.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, but I'm not married and I wonder if this is too much time I'm spending when maybe there is someone better??

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

(eek, I feel bad saying that outloud)

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

We could discuss a plan that could work for you. regularly I do charge $70 for a 60 minutes session.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please do not feel bad about you being truthful and honest with yourself,, since it is your need, right and responsibility to be this way, in order to take good care of yourself and not to self-sabotage.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. I've never done a skype therapy session, but it's sounding like an idea to try

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do not think it is healthy nor wise to deny reality, any aspect of it, since we would end regretting it later when feeling dissatisfied, unhappy or alone even when into a relationship.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yeah, I'm just exhausted with it all, really. i think I"m going to break up and then hang out and then I'm fine and then hang out with my girlfriends and complain and let it out and then go back to the relationship like it's fine. (that's the part that makes me feel a little "crazy"

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

No problem, I think it is worthy. Many people could even benefit from text chat only, and feel more comfortable not being observed,, each person is different and unique, no way to know but by trying it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right, is this lack of stability and not having any control of what has been going on, with the frustration and pain, fear and lack of fulfillment it brings what makes it much harder.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I'm not clear on your last statement...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think it is necessary for each of you to work on yourselves as individuals, since your personal experiences have been deeply affecting the way you have played a role in this relationship, and unless you take care of that, these issues would continue.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, I've felt all of those: frustration, pain, lack of fulfillment for sure.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I wonder if that's possible while we are in the relationship...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You have not had any control in the way this relationship has evolved, since he has not allowed this to happen, for you to have this intimacy, connection and reciprocity where you could be there for each other, he has been systematically pushing you away because of his own pain and personal problems

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely!

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes. definitely.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That's why it becomes so frustrating, since no matter if you are in the relationship, the way it has been evolving has just not worked for you at all, that'w why you have felt this way.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. so you're suggesting we each work on ourselves individually while in the relationship.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am willing to support you with confidential counseling of you want to try it. regardless of your preferences, please do get counseling to work on yourself to better cope with this situation, since you do nor need nor deserve more pain.

I think each of you need to work on yourselves independently, with individual counseling, whether you happen to be or not in the relationship.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

yes, the key is how do I explain this to him?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If this person truly cares about you and wants to work on healing and building your relationship, even after a break out, he would focus on his healing and growth process, in order to be able to be there for you as a healthy and supportive, loving and understanding partner, with no further neglect.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

By being %100 honest and open, no other way to do it assertively.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. yes, I think he needs a lot of healing as well.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You bet he does.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please consider my offer for a counseling session, where i coudl support you better for you to work on yourself and coping with this situation better.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. I will try being honest with him, although it scares me because I think he will think I'm breaking up with him like i did before, but I think that was the same feeling I felt before...unsatisifed for all the same reasons, but this time I can say, look we both need healing and I think we need to do it separately.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

OK, how would i contact you?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Or look for affordable counseling locally, it is very important.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You could just send me a message through this means and we'll schedule a date and time for your session when best for you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you want to schedule the session now we could do it too, no problem.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok, is $70 firm or would you allow payment plan?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

We could work on a payment plan for sure in order for this to work for you the best possible way.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok., I appreciate it!

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I could do next Wed.?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

No problem. Take your time and let me know. Just contact me using this post and I will reply as soon as possible.
Sure, at what time? and what's your location?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I just want to make sure our times match

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

i'm Central Standard TIme

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Good. Thanks. Then Wednesday, 30th. At what time?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

but it can depend on the hour, but I'm thinking around 9 p.m. or so...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

No problem

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

can we keep it tentative and I can ping you via this post? (sometimes it can be later or earlier...but estimating 9

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I will reserve this time for you for this date

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

or i might need to talk before Wed. depending on how the rest of my week goes!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

I have to figure out Skype. Do you have a skype name?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

No problem.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes, I do but lets' do this in order to protect our private information. I will reduce what you were charged for this chat in order for you not to pay extra for this first counseling session, and I will give you my Skype ID. Is that fine with you?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then if the charge was going to be $70, I will reduce it to $50 this time.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You would not rate this session but wait for me to change it to posting mode, and from there I will be able to send this contact information and the system will charge you this other amount.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. so the reduced payment of $50 will be paid through this website and will be paid to you, correct?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Good, then give me a minute to make this change and I will send you request, you would review it and accept if everything looks fine for you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The website will give me a portion of what you pay.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

so how much am i paying today?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The website would be charging you the initial amount you offer for this question plus the $50 for the counseling session

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

oh I see...so I'm paying in advance for the next session, correct?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I unknown how much you were charged, but I know how much I set the cost for a counseling session with you as my client.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. so if something comes up where I can't do it Wed. is there a way to notify you?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Otherwise the system would require you to post another question, with a new charge for us to be able to set this initial session. Then it is better to do it this way.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok, i see what you're saying now...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes, you would just need to update this question and i will know and reply.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

OK., but I will plan to do Wed. evening as best as possible.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do work online then I reply within minuted or an hour, that's not a problem and can adjust my schedule as much as you may need it. rescheduling is not a problem.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok, I will wait for your post mode in order to rate this session, right?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Good.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes, please do not rate it now or it will not allow me to offer the counseling session. But as soon as you get the request, then you will rate it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Ready?

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

thank you very much....so wait, I get the request in my email inbox, then, correct?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Correct.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. so I will just go to my email and leave this session as is.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

right?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome, Thank you for your trust. I will send it in a couple of minutes.

<span class="JA_chatAuthorName"Customer:

ok. this has been helpful and yes, I will check my email. thank you again!!!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're welcome Thanks and bye for now.

Lori-Moderator41573.6417345486
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
For some technical reason the system is not allowing me to schedule the session now. I will contact the website's management and request support to make it work. I have already scheduled your session for next Wednesday as agreed, then please do not worry about that.

Now I have to wait to get a reply form the website, and as soon as this technical problems gets resolved, I will be sending the request,and the website would charge your account as agreed. I will send my Skype contact information.

Please do not rate the session until I confirm everything is ready, OK?
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 4 years ago

understood. I will not rate it until I receive a confirmation "go ahead" from you in a future email note.


 


I'll plan for Wed. in the meantime.


 


Thank you,

Sounds good. Thank you again for your trust and patience. I will get back to you as soon as I get a reply and support from JustAnswer about it, for me to complete the process.

Take gentle care,

Rafael
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 4 years ago
Ok, sounds good!

Good night!
Thanks. Good night.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Hello

I am very sorry, I have received a reply from a JustAnswer moderator letting me know I am not allowed to provide this service, which is not available since we had a chat session and because you have a subscription, both incompatible with this option. I did not know this policy, once this is a new service still in Beta mode and that's why I offered it to you as I did before with other customers, but was unaware of these incompatibilities. I do apologize for my mistake and truly hope you could find a good psychotherapist who could support you the way you need and deserve for an affordable fee. I will still be here willing to support you through this interface as possible.

Sorry again and thank you for your trust,

Rafael
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 4 years ago
I see. What if I decide to cancel the subscription then can I move forward with the confidential therapy?
I do not know, this is something that only a moderator or website's management can answer. Please directly contact then using whether the phone, chat or email options from this page: http://ww2.justanswer.com/help

Thank you for your patience and understanding, I hope it could work for you. Feel free to rate today's session.

Rafael
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My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have
My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have chirldren with a previous partner and we still keep the family house and gather. But my family has not accepted my new partner 'although she is ever… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
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Boyfriend of 1 year newly divorced from long unhappy 30+year marriage told me he keeps thinking bout old girlfriend and how he has always wondered about her and how/where she is. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated
Hi. A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated very casually before he moved about 1 ½ years ago to California from Ohio & since then we really didn't stay in touch. So I was a bit s… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a Sunday for brunch, She start 3 hours and gets rather trashed with her alcoholic Mother of which we do not like each other. Keep in mind that… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok,
not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok, My boyfriend and I and my two teenage daughters live together. I gave him the consent to record my daughter because we were trying to catch h… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I've never been in a real relationship and it just seems
I've never been in a real relationship and it just seems like I can't get any woman to like me or want to date me. I want to know how I can approach women and get dates? I'm really all about chivalry … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have a problem i need an advice I met a man after really
Hello , i have a problem i need an advice I met a man after really hard time of separation with my husband . This man is separated too but he still in contact with his wife because of the kids ..any h… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I would like to know something. My wife of 35 yrs received a
my wife of 35 yrs received a very intimate necklace fro m anoth er women and she told her she was drawing inspiration from her just by wearing it what does that mean … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Mine is a pretty tricky but story. So I met this guy on
Hi Debra, Mine is a pretty tricky but long story. So I met this guy on Tinder, he was lovely. Our first date was amazing... we spoke for three weeks 24/7 before actually meeting up. There was an insta… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood swings. He is about to start a new job at a branch of Verizon (used to work at another branch) so we were talking in the car and he said he ha… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex,
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex, I kept texting him till he said leave me alone and then broke up with me.. can I get him back … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love
me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love him dearly, well on Tuesday something happened when I was texting one of my guy friends I didn't physically cheat on him, and there was no … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6
Jen, I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6 weeks. We see each other twice a week. He deeply cares for me and loves me. I also have love for him. I struggle with his immaturity. So… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
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Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

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