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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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I have copd, and have been having high anxiety recently, I

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I have copd, and have been having high anxiety recently, I believe due to my function alcholic boyfriend of 12 yrs. On and off past 6 yrs. I thinking of making him move out again soon, but not sure why I am being hesitant,? We have 2 children, and feel guilty about that? Do I deal with it/him, ive tried over the years with him, but he goes right back to his ways, or sacrafice myself happiness over the kids? Been going to counseling, but still not getting answers? Help?
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,
I am sorry to hear that you find your self in this difficult situation. It is clear that you know what is best for you but are stopped by your hope that things will change someday and there is a part of him that you love. This may be from a previous life event whereby someone close to you (i.e., a parent) was disappointing you or mistreated you and you always hoped for that person to change. Now this is just part of your automatic thinking and behavior. You need to tell yourself "This person is not going to change and for the health of myself and the children, I must ask him to leave and never take him back." You will find more information on why a woman stays with an alcoholic partner by attending a Al-Anon Meeting in your area. Just search AlAnon and you city for meeting places and times. If you have already been to these meetings then you already have an idea of the concept of "CoDependence" which also explains "Why you are being hesitant".

I hope this gives you some information to help make your decision.
Warm regards
Dr. Bonnie and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I do know about co dependant, I guess I should do what I really know I should do! I know it and should put my thinking into actions! Thanks Linda