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RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I dont know how to put this but my husband is having problem

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I don't know how to put this but my husband is having problem staying longer once we are making love. I just wanted to know what might be the reason?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about your situation

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please describe little more his problem? Do you mean he ejaculates or attains orgasm too soon?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If this is what you mean, this problem is known as a sexual dysfunction, specifically "premature ejaculation disorder".

Customer: Orgasm too soon
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, thank you for replying, then it is indeed "premature ejaculation disorder".

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For how long has he been presenting this problem?

Customer: About 5 months or so
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, then it's become chronic.

Customer: So what can we do about it?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Most times there are multiple factor causing this dysfunction. The first step he needs to take is to get a complete physical evaluation to make sure there is no medical problem causing or leading to this disorder. The urologist and endocrinologist could assess if everything is fine with his hormones and physical health related to his sexual functioning.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then if everything seems fine physically after those exams, you could be confident that the nature of this dysfunction is mostly psychological...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

which means factors from stress, to anxiety, depression or any form of unresolved conflict could be leading directly or indirectly to this dysfucntion

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then he would need psychological treatment by a competent sex therapist

Customer: Well we don't have insurance now, so is there anything else we could do?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Effectively addressing the anxiety, mood or stress related disorder, or if there is any marital issue involved, would lead him to rehabilitate from this disorder.

Customer: well we don't have marital issues everything else is great with the exception of this. And we have talk about this but it's still happening?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You could work on learning how to improve your communication, level of trust,, affection, passion and intimacy, he would learn relaxation technique and coping skill to reduce levels of anxiety, you would not force intercourse but focus on sex play, for him to learn how to regulate his level of arousal.

Customer: he just keep on stressing himself whenever that happens?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The extra problem here is that every time this happens he literally conditions or programs his body and mind to perpetuate the same behavior, reinforcing the anxiety and the disorder, making it more difficult to relax and perform next time, this is why the more necessary treatment is delay, the lower the chances for rehabilitation, and he has already been suffering of this disorder for 5 months, and that's very concerning.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

here the very fuel of the disorder is anxiety and stress, the more stressed he feels about it, the worse it would get.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Since sexual behavior and performance is very powerfully impacted and even depends on mood, mental and emotional states, this is why it is necessary to resolve the anxiety/stress problem first in order too perform and enjoy sex life in healthy and fulfilling ways.

Customer: Okay I guess we''ll check a doc once we have insurance.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please do so as soon as possible, he would need previous evaluations and then a sex therapist if everything seems fine a the physical level. Please do work on learning how to relax, control anxiety, not pushing intercourse and he could look for a stress management program too. If he contacts the county mental health department and requests a referral for an evaluation and counseling, they could offer support through a local mental health clinic that you could afford.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me of you have any further questions, since I am here to support you as possible.

Customer: Okay thank you.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I just wanted to suggest these books as helpful for you and your husband to work on his rehabilitation until you can get adequate professional support. I hope they help. The first ones are a little better:

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

1- Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner & Have Great Sex by Barry W. McCarthy
2- How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation by Helen Singer Kaplan
3- Good in Bed Guide to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation By Ian Kerner PhD
4- The Truth About Premature Ejaculation and Erectile Dysfunction: How I Lived ... By Omar J
5- A Short Book About Lasting Longer: Step-by-Step Basics for the Management of Premature Ejaculation by Robert W. Birch

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Take good care.

Customer: Okay I'll try them thank you so much
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. Bye.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please do not forget to rate session in order to close chat window. You could copy link to it for you to review it later:

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