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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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My fiancé posts very swimsuit pics of herself publicly

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My fiancé posts very sexy swimsuit pics of herself publicly on Instagram with captions like kisses from my secret garden. Predictably she gets lots of guys commenting that they want to be with her.
She posts pics of friends and family but never me and rarely anything that indicates she is in a relationship. I have asked her to stop but she gets very upset. She also won't friend me in Facebook what do you think this means and am I over reacting by being upset?
Hello. You are engaged to this woman and she has been doing this to you? This behavior is not normal and you do have every right to be upset about this.
My first advice would be to not get married until whatever underlying problems are causing her to act like this. I would guess that she is having some issues with being tied down and is not ready to be in a serious relationship, even if she indicates otherwise.
While the posting of sexy pictures itself should not be a huge issue, the other actions she is taking should be the focus of the concern. When you bring this up to her that it bothers you and SHE is the one who gets very upset, THIS is the problem. A normal reaction would be that she would talk to you about this and your concerns. If she felt that she was in the right, she should be able to explain this to you and have good reasons for it. If she just gets upset without any real reasons for it, and that she won't even acknowledge your relationship publicly, then that is a big red flag and you need to take a few steps back in this relationship.
I think you need to revisit the basics of this relationship before you get married and make sure that this is what you both want. I fear that she is not at all ready to give up independence and this will probably spiral into a bad situation for you.
She won't friend you on FB? This is a pretty basic thing that people do all the time, even with people that others don't know. If she is friends with many people who she has never met before and won't add her fiancee, this is a big problem.
You need to have a serious sit down with her about this and try to get her real feelings out of her. Stand your ground on this and don't get married until you both figure out if this is what you really want. I fear that her actions are a sign of a much bigger problem than just her Internet behavior. She is taking advantage and walking over you and not giving your feelings much of a concern.
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