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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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My ex and I dated for 2 and a half years. Since splitting we

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My ex and I dated for 2 and a half years. Since splitting we maintain a good friendship and occasional friends with benefits. We also dated other people/ had sex with others.
Now he has feelings for me yet says he doesnt want to act on them and would prefer to not be friends until they go away. He said he wont speak to me.
What should I do?
I am interested in dating him
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help with this situation.

It seems that your friend does not want to have a committed relationship with you, but you do with him.

He has developed feelings for you but wants to stifle and kill those feelings and so he has made up this arbitrary condition that you not see him until his feelings go away.

He will always hurt you. He just wants you for companionship and sex and will not allow a deeper relationship to develop.

Right now you have too much control of his emotions and he does not like that.

I suggest that you continue to pursue him aggressively. This will be your way of giving him one last chance of being more than a casual sex partner. You want more. He may want more but he is not allowing it.

If he does not come around, or ignores you or pushes you away, then tell him that you are finished with him, and actually move on with your life and find someone who is serious about having a committed relationship with you.

Unless you are content with your presen arrangement, then end this chapter in your life and open a new one without him. This one may be too painfull for you in the long run.

He is a boy who doesn't want to grow up. You are ready for a real man who would like to date you and build a relationship over time, and not run away when feelings start to emerge.

I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

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