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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3442
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My boyfriend left me

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My boyfriend just broke up with me and i can't get over him. I need him back and in my life again. He said i didn't do anything wrong and that he just wanted out of our relationship even though he still loves me very much. He keeps saying he doesn't want to see me in person at the moment and doesn't want to talk about what happened, Is this because he knows he'll get back together with me and realize his mistake? The break up came out of nowhere, we were so happy and in love. He even apologized for doing it because he said I didn't deserve to be hurt like this. I reminded him about the good times and when he loved me and said I was his everything but he told me to stop wasting my time because he was done. he says he just wants to move on and be completely done with our relationship.  What do i do? How do i get him back? I need him in my life. 

Hi and welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

This is a very tough spot and I am sorry to hear of your pain. Clearly he is going through something all on his own which has little to do with you. As hard as it is, the best thing you can do is to give him the space and time he needs. During this time and in this space he just may realize that he misses you and wants to be with you. The more you ask for it now, the less likely he will be able to give what you need.

This is not the answer you want, I know. You want me to give you some thing that you can do that will get him back immediately. It truly is a matter of time and space for him to feel what he feels and if in that time he is missing you and wanting you, he will come back. The stronger you are during this time and the more able you are to give him this space, the more chance you have to get him to come back if he is so inclined.

I feel your pain and know just how tough it is and how tough it feels to sit back, but as you can see he is not ready to discuss it or meet, so space is the best option at this point. I welcome your thoughts.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

But what if he doesn't come back and I never know what i did wrong? How can I trust anyone again knowing that i can treat someone so well and so perfect and they can still just get up and leave without a care in the world?

Your questions are completely valid. If he won't give you the time to discuss it all then yes, you are left wondering what happened and how things could have been better when you thought they were.

All relationships can cause us to feel unsteady and even if you got the answers of this one, it will take courage on your part to open up and trust again. You need time to heal from this and how he has handled the break up. It has not been handled with grace toward you and so you are left with all of these feelings and unanswered questions. He clearly has more going on within him than he has led on and for whatever reason is not able to be open about what that is.
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