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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5823
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Kate, I think I made a mistake today. I will tell you

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I think I made a mistake today. I will tell you and help me assess this and correct it if possible.

Today we received an email as a group to nominate one of us to have a meeting with the director regarding feedback for our MBA program. Anyway, I am the one who is representing our group. The members of the team sent me their comments except him. But when I arrived home, I received a text msg on whatsapp from him saying that he wants to talk to me on the phone in order to give me his concerns regarding the meeting. I replied to him that he can sent it to me on the email or contact me on my office number tomorrow. He replied that he doesn't have time to write cuz he is very busy at work, but he will call me on my office number tomorrow. after that I felt that he again is doing what he wants. I let him do that. I think I made a mistake by giving him the chance to call me on the office. But my idea was since this was work related only, this might be my chance to train myself to deal with him for work only. But I honestly don't feel like talking to him especially after what he did the last time we talked when he hung up once we started talkking about serious stuff and gave a lame excuse.

What do you think? I am thinking that if he calls, I will not answer his phone then tell him I was busy and ask him to email me his comments just like the others.

I feel I am really stupid and that he keeps manipulating me. Although I was sure I was doing the right thing when I replied to him, but then I regretted big time.

please let me know if I am correct or not.


There was nothing wrong with what you did. He was being difficult and trying to manipulate, I agree. He seems to feel that if he pushes hard enough, you will give him what he wants. But you did what you could to work around his manipulation.

It is ok to allow him to call. Just keep it brief and very business like. If he tries to speak to you in a personal way or brings up your relationship outside of work, cut him off and tell him point blank to stick to the topic. If he continues, interrupt him and tell him to send his work related comments to you via email then hang up.

In the future, if you need to communicate with him again and he tries to do something like this, tell him that everyone is sending their comments via email and that is the only way you are accepting them. If he persists, it is ok to involved a supervisor. Only tell them that you wish to collect the information from him in the same format as everyone in the group agreed to and that you see no reason for the phone calls. Then let him deal with management. That will also convey you are serious about ending your contact with him.

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