How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am having an issue with my wife where we are fighting over

This answer was rated:

I am having an issue with my wife where we are fighting over stupid simple things. Today the fight was about hanging a magnetic strip for some steak knives. Whenever I want to do something like this her response is always the same. Why do you want to do that? Why not just keep them in a drawer. My family never hung their knives and so on. I would love for once on something trival like this to hear. That's nice dear. Problem is after 20 years together I know that it will never happen. It has gotten to the point now where we cant do any kind of project together because it just makes me angry. What can I do to let go of the anger and just put up with it.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

Having continuous anger provoked in a relationship is not healthy. If you can just work around her and do the little projects by yourself and avoid the confrontations, then just work around her.

If she complains you can tell her that she can keep doing it her way but it is also your home and you can do what you see fit as well as she can.

It takes two to have a dispute and if you don't argue with her or take the bait, then she will be talking to a person who who will not argue with her.

If you cannot prevent arguments then you can strongly suggest that you both see a marriage and family counselor together.

If she refuses and you cannot ignore her argumentative ways then you can consider taking this further.

Before you consider separation, urge her gently but firmly to seek counseling with you, because this IS chipping away at your marriage.

Basically, live with it or try to work with her and a professional to iron out this longstanding problem.

If she will not agree then you will either have to live with the problem or further escalate using the leverage of suggestin separation. You may be surprised at her response, which could go either way.

I wish you POSITIVE success i fixing and improving this marriage.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Related Relationship Questions