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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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a woman in my church wanted to meet me. she invited me over

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a woman in my church wanted to meet me. she invited me over for a few dinners, watched some movies; on the third get together she said she wasn't attracted to me just wanted some platonic male friends. after taking us out for a very expensive dinner she the next day said don't call me anymore we are too opposite and that we most assuredly are NOT friends. what the heck is going on here?
Hello and thanks for your question; I'm happy to try to help you today.

Without knowing all of the details, it sounds like you two just didn't click and she decided to cut things off before you became more involved with each other. It also seems like she might not have known how to explain that she didn't feel like you were a match, so she beat around the bush in a pretty awkward way. Her behavior sounds a bit erratic -- inviting you over, taking you out for dinner, etc -- which would give anyone the idea that she was interested in pursuing a relationship. But it doesn't sound like she's really ready for a stable, committed relationship, it seems more like she's just testing the waters to see who is out there and available. Her telling you that you 'most assuredly are NOT friends' is baffling to me, too, and doesn't seem to make sense in light of what you've said here -- there doesn't seem to be a reason to phrase it in such a harsh way.

But it sounds like you're handling it the right way, especially in light of your understandably hurt feelings -- I would just let it rest and act cordially and politely when you do run into her, unless she decides to offer up a better explanation. Best of luck.
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