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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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My husband is having an affair, they live as couple now for

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My husband is having an affair, they live as couple now for several months. He abandoned me and our kids,No financial support what so ever, it all goes to the other woman. I want my marriage to work out so when he called that he is coming home and to try to work on our marriage I said yes. But he has no intention of ending the affair he said that he is in love with her and promised her to support her in all means. I filed for divorce right after I discover the affair. Me and my kids are suffering I want him to come back in our lives but in one condition, to end his affair. I love him so much I can't see myself living without him.But it seems that he don't love his family anymore.He won't even return our call even emergency. Should I wait for him to come to his senses?
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Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

I am so sorry to see that you and your children have been abandoned by this man who is supposed to be with you and supporting his children.

If he cannot even be there for an emergency or will not support his children then you will have to get used to living without him. You already are.

It is doubtful that he will give her up for you. He has already given up you and his children for her.

If he does, by some unexpected turn of events (such as she dies or leaves him) then you will never be able to trust him agaiin. He does not have the ability to care for others and may be sociopathic, as this is the definition of sociopathy.

I strongly urge you to get the best possible attorney to initiate a divorce and get child support payments from him, and full custody, and perhaps back payments.

He does not want you to divorce because he doesn't want to support his children. Rather, he wants to support this woman in style.

You will never get his back on a permanent basis, and you WILL learn to live without him.

I wish there was a way to change things, but you will not be able to change a man who is not capable of loving and supporting his children. He can say anything, but his actions show exactly who he is.

I know you find it hard to admit how serious this is, but he is in a relationship with this woman and won't come back unless he has nowhere else to go. If he does come back, he will leave for new adventures when and if the opportunity arises.

I shall pray that God gives you the wisdom and strength to do what has to be done and to end what is left of this relationship (legal ties) and move forward, and start the next chapter of your life.

Warm regards,


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