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llw26, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 208
Experience:  LCPC - 2015. Counseling skills.
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I have been engaged to my fiancee since February 2013 now it

Customer Question

I have been engaged to my fiancee since February 2013 now it is September 2013. I was with the girl on and off for about two three years and together officially for a year and a half before i popped the question. I am a family man and have been trying to get her to meet my parents and my family but she just cant seem to do it there is always a different reason why not, and because of this my family has been questioning weather i think this girl is the one for me. It is important for me to keep my family happy they are all i ever had and have given me a life i am more than great full for with that in mind i do not let them impact how i feel about her, rather I myself just don't feel the same anymore i don't feel the flame burning in me like it once did i have become very edgy with her very moody and get angry quickly and this all started happening after three months of engagement when she failed to meet my family. We still talk and we are still together these days i find myself questioning alot weather i want to be with her or not and alot of times i feel like i have to force myself to love her. I have never been through something like this and cannot seem to break the news to her about how i really feel because i am worried it would devastate her. I feel like I am worried more about everyone else s happiness than mine and i only get mad yell and get worried it and repeat every week. Would do you recommend I do.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  llw26 replied 4 years ago.

llw26 :

Hello! I hope I can help you with this! It sounds like your family means a lot to you. Have you discussed this aspect with her? There has to be a reason as to why she is so hesitant to meet your family. What was her family life like growing up?

JACUSTOMER-p15and9c- :

Yes I have numerous times but nothing seems to work just "ok I know I will" etc ... well her parents got divorced about two yours ago and her mom is now living with a different guy and her dad is a really nice guy who doesnt know anything about her mom having a boyfriend he just thinks shes living on her own. My fiancee lives with her dad for the moment being.

llw26 :

Hm, have you attempted to be more directive in your approach to having her meet your family? You two have been together for quite some time and it would make sense for her to meet your family and just like you meeting her family. Next time she says "ok, I know I will" you could say this is something you've said before and it hasn't happened, if we are going to spend our lives together, I want you to get to know my family, as I have gotten to know yours. Family is important to me and I would really like for you to meet my family and get to know where I came from. I would say confronting the issue head on will allow for you to bring up whatever it is that's bothering her. I would even tell her that this is a serious problem for you, as you want your family involved in both your lives. I also think it's important that you're happy too, if what is going to make you happy, is having her meet your family, I would let her know that.

llw26 :

I am sorry, why did you rate me as bad service?

Expert:  llw26 replied 4 years ago.
I switched us over to Q&A, the beta questions listing always has technical problems.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Because your telling me everything I jave already tried those are common sense answers I need a different approach other than the first logical one.

Expert:  llw26 replied 4 years ago.
I didn't know you've tried those, that's why I asked.
Expert:  llw26 replied 4 years ago.
If you've tried talking to her and she's not willing to agree there may be a point where you have to say it's meeting my family or not -- it doesn't sound though like you want this relationship to work out...