Thank you so much for your very kind and thougtful reply to me after you relisted the question. It shows you to be a very good and decent person.
Yes, I did speculate, using the information that you gave me, and trying to elicit a response. I did not mean to cause you anxiety, and perhaps some of your anxiety comes from the nature of your less than perfect relationship.
I understand that on the physical/sexual level, it is fantastic and very fulfilling to you. This is important and makes a strong bond between you.
I was concerned that he says hurtful things to you and I believe that I gave you excellent detailed advice.
I see that one of the questions I answered yesterday was about personality disorders.
Here is information about NPD - the diagnostic criteria:
It may or may not apply to your partner.
Diagnostic criteria for 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(DSM IV - TR)
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
In any event, I wish you peace and harmony in your life.