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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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My husband is taking to other females behind my back. He says

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My husband is taking to other females behind my back. He says that they are just friends but when they have events he goes without me. On Saturday, he went to a barbeque without me and when he got back from the barbecue he was very tired and I found a white substance like sperm in his underwear.

Do you think that he is fooling around?
Hello. I'm sorry your husband is doing this to you. He may or may not be fooling around, but the main issue here is complete disrespect for you. There must be a serious issue going on in your marriage for him to display such blatant disregard for you. You need to explain to him that you understand that he has friends and that everyone needs friends, but that you feel he is not being a loving, respectable husband to you and he is hurting you. If you take this approach with him other than pointing the finger and accusing him of things, you will be more likely to get him to open up a bit more than you would if you accuse him and make him feel like he needs to defend himself. You have every right to be upset about him choosing to do things without you, as partners should be best friends and want to spend time with each other. You are going to have to get to the root of the problem which is why he feels that he needs to do things without you. What has caused this rift between you? This is something you need to talk with him about and resolve it within the marriage. There is a lot more to this than the act of fooling around, although its understandable why that is your main focus. Sit him down and explain how his actions are making you feel and ask him why he wants to hurt you. If he continues to act in this way and blows off your feelings, then you need to go a bit further and do some more investigating as to his whereabouts and actions.
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