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My friend is dating this girl that none of our other friends

My friend is dating this...

My friend is dating this girl that none of our other friends like, and she is rather crazy. They haven't been together much longer than a year but they have been living together since only month 3 or 4, and she is already talking marriage. She really isn't good for him, so we want to say something to him to confront him about it, but we don't know what or how. Help?


 


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Answered in 31 minutes by:
9/2/2013
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

You and your friends and only seeing this woman from one point of view, but not from your FRIEND'S point of view . She obviously has enough going for her to keep him in tow for several months already.

On the other hand, you may be spot on in your defintion of her, and he is blinded by love or lust.

NEVERTHELESS, you cannot influence him, and should not try, for you will surely put a strong damper on your relationship with him.

Instead, maintain your friendship with him and be ready to pick up the pieces and support him if he falls into a crisis situtation. This is the wisest course. He will be strongest if he leanrs a real lesson from a tough life experience

Good luck. He is lucky to have such great friends.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Well...it's a little more complicated than we just don't like her. There's that, but also, we honestly think she might be poisoning his cat. And we all agree that she could easily be the kind to "forget" to take her birth control. We just want to spare him a lifetime of heartache. When it does end, and we tell him what we thought, it is inevitable that he would say, "But why didn't you TELL me?!" Has this sort of thing ever been successful? Maybe if it's less confrontational, and more like, "Hey man, we love you and we'll support you no matter what, but here's what we're concerned about..." Maybe??

You can try, but don't be surpised if your gesture is not welcome (and you may not know it, but it will come back to you).

I wish you great luck. If you feel you must, then you can do it, but chances are it will not work in your favor but against you.

You sound like you want to try, just to be able to clear your consciences, so go ahead.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Verified
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
7,664 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.

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