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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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my husbands 27 year old niece got married recently. at rehearsal

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my husbands 27 year old niece got married recently. at rehearsal dinner and wedding she did not talk to us. every year we sent her to florida to visit us. we pay for airfare, gifts, dinners, everything. we have done this for her for over ten years. during the last visit, she barely spoke to us at all, yet as always, accepted everything we gave to her without a second thought. husband called her after the trip and asked why she was dismissing us during the last few times we saw her. niece said in a very calm voice that she has not liked us since middle school, has nothing to say to us and does not want a relationship with us. she gave no more answers than that. we are devastated. why would someone take your love, time and money for over a decade when the botXXXXX XXXXXne is that they never liked you?
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

I certainly understand how devestating this is for you. Do not take this personally. Imagine what it must be like to be devoid of feelings, to be unable to feel love or even gratitude?

This is a sign of severe emotional disturbance or personality disorder, or even a sign that the young lady as a developmental disorder, particularly Asperger's Disorder (a mild disorder on the autism spectrum of disorders).

A person with extreme depression can lose enthusiasm for others, but will also seem to act depressed in general, be sad, lack concentration, and be irritable. She was not irritable with you.

A person with Aspergers has an absence of personal or social reciprocity and may have been slow to develop socially when she was young.

A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will not feel real love or concern for others, but they will be manipulative. She did not manipulate you for those trips and benefits. And she would have thanked you so as to get more from you.

Surely, her parents must notice some of this. They are your family and I believe you should discuss this with them in a very calm manner. If she has a mental illness or personality disorder or developmental disability, you cannot be angry with her.

She may just be a very spoiled girl who was never taught any manners, but I believe that it is more than that.

The most likely scenario is Asperger's, but this needs more investigation, and certainly discussion with her parents.

I wish you great success and ask you to not let this hurt your hearts because it is most likely some defect in her, and not in you.

I shall keep you in my prayers for comfort and understanding.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

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