How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Mark Your Own Question
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5334
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Mark is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Well the bomb exploded !! I had to discuss my issues and concerns

This answer was rated:

Well the bomb exploded !! I had to discuss my issues and concerns about what bothers me !! Which is the part of intimacy !! He said i am tired ! I work a lot ! And I mentioned ok you are tired but you have time to play with yourself ??he denied that completely ! Why you are accusing me of something I have not done ! Hello you have done it !! I saw the underwear. So he denied it !! And I say there is no reason to stay in the relationship !! He did not say much !! I left to the room and he stay on the living room !! He does not talk to me or sleep same room since then !! I am very sad depress disappoint ! I just want to be happy !! Today is my birthday !! Which no other choice that he talk to me few words happy birthday !! And he ask me if I am going to have that attitude ! And I was half sleep !! And said that there are things that we are not agreeing !! So yes I will have same attitude !! Meaning that I said what I said !! He said ok happy birthday and have a nice day !! He keeps calling me until now after work !! But I don't want to speak with him. I cried all morning was very sad !! Until later mid day noon took shower !!and left the house !!

Hi! It's good to hear from you again, but I am so sorry that this has happened. You must be devastated. It is really very hurtful.

You were trying in good faith to get the relationship back on track and it went exactly the wrong way. That feels awful, I know. He got defensive and so he denied everything and now he's feeling like he's the victim and he's not talking to you. This happens so often when people are challenged on a lie and shown evidence that they are embarrassed about. It very often doesn't go well.

But I don't want you to give up here. It is very possible that the two of you may have to go to couples counseling to work on the sexual issues. Because they are not, most likely, mechanical sexual problems. Rather, there's a relationship problem that's expressing itself through the withholding of sex.

Before that step, though, I recommend you take a deep breath and go to him and say that you want to start over. Let's just forget the past months. Let's just forget the discussions, etc. Let's make it new. Let's go out for my birthday and come back and feel good together.

Keep telling him let's focus on the positive and on what we have together. And let's enjoy each other. Try, in other words, some positive energy. The two of you have gotten into the guilt, hurt, disappointed, negative energy. See if it will work if you introduce the positive energy.

If not, then you know for sure it's time for couple's counseling and that will be an important step for you two.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Dr. Mark and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Hi! I'm very glad that I was able to help you with this. I appreciate your positive rating and thank you so much for the bonus as well. If I can help you in the future in any way, please don't hesitate to let me know.

All the best,

Dr. Mark