Hi! It's good to hear from you again, but I am so sorry that this has happened. You must be devastated. It is really very hurtful.
You were trying in good faith to get the relationship back on track and it went exactly the wrong way. That feels awful, I know. He got defensive and so he denied everything and now he's feeling like he's the victim and he's not talking to you. This happens so often when people are challenged on a lie and shown evidence that they are embarrassed about. It very often doesn't go well.
But I don't want you to give up here. It is very possible that the two of you may have to go to couples counseling to work on the sexual issues. Because they are not, most likely, mechanical sexual problems. Rather, there's a relationship problem that's expressing itself through the withholding of sex.
Before that step, though, I recommend you take a deep breath and go to him and say that you want to start over. Let's just forget the past months. Let's just forget the discussions, etc. Let's make it new. Let's go out for my birthday and come back and feel good together.
Keep telling him let's focus on the positive and on what we have together. And let's enjoy each other. Try, in other words, some positive energy. The two of you have gotten into the guilt, hurt, disappointed, negative energy. See if it will work if you introduce the positive energy.
If not, then you know for sure it's time for couple's counseling and that will be an important step for you two.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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