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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5837
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I have been in a relationship for over 4 years and it Just

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I have been in a relationship for over 4 years and it Just ended because she lost feelings she had more. She says she still loves me but not in love like she was. There is no doubt in my mind that I want to marry this girl. The reason she lost a lot of feelings is because I had recently been going through some major anxiety issues, that caused me to become debilitated and we did nothing as a couple. After my therapy each week I continue to get better and am very close to being who I once was. How do I show her that I just need one chance to prove it to her.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your girlfriend has been struggling to deal with her feelings. She might have felt overwhelmed by your situation and now needs time to clear her mind.

Expressing your feelings through non verbal ways is an excellent way to approach this issue. Along with sending her flowers, try sending her a card telling her that you are sorry for what she is going through and that you are there for her. Send her small gifts just as a way to brighten her day, just be sure it is not too often. Maybe once a week or every other week. That way, she knows you care but does not feel the pressure of direct contact.

If she says she needs time, allow her that time. But that does not mean you have to let her go. Try to stay in touch through texting just to say hi and offer her encouraging words. Even if you just send her a funny saying or a simple quote, it can be enough. Keep it simple and only send it when you have not had contact for 3 or 4 days.

If you have not heard from her after a couple of weeks, try talking to her again but this time about your relationship. If she still needs time, give her that time and consider backing off a bit more. She may just need space in order to have time to work out her thoughts.

I hope this has helped you,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I guess the hardest part is living with the uncertainty that I may not get a chance. Thats all I want. Do you thibk it is more likely that she begins to miss me or more likely that she just gets over me?

I understand. That is the most difficult part. But as long as you keep trying, you can always say you did your best if it does not work out. But hang in there until you know for sure, because there always is a chance.

If you stay in touch with her, there is a good chance she will at least think the relationship through and consider getting together. It can help to remind her of what made you both fall in love in the first place, even if that has to be non verbal and indirect.

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