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Hello -- I hope I can assist you with your relationship troubles. First question though, have you attempted to discuss the relationship with him?
I did already but does say too much
Does not say too much
hello -- okay so it sounds like you've tried to establish a discussion on your relationship and that's not working. Are you happy in the realationship?
I love him but at this time I don't know
Has this happened before in your relationship or has something changed?
Sex life change !! Was good before but now is maybe two times a week ! And I did told him my concerns ! I even said that I would get a toy he got upset !! And he says I better not that I am crazy think about sex all the time that he is tired and works a lot !! But I just find out that he masturbates
So when did you sex life change? In what ways did it change, just decrease in the number of times you're engaging in sexual activity per week?
Yeah just decrease !! But he masturbates ! He does not know that I know !!
It sounds as though there may be some trust issues going on with the relationship -- have you tried couples therapy?
Many people masturbate in relationships, when it becomes a problem is when masturbating takes over and the intimacy and sexual relations you may be having with your partner stop all together or decrease significantly. I think that the fact that you put cameras in your home to catch your partner doing something signifies something is wrong -- there needs to be a discussion on your relationship and what you both want...if you both see different paths in your relationship then it may be time to move on, if not then you both need to begin to work through the problems in the relationship together with or without a therapist.
Should I mentioned again for the THird time that I am not happy in the relationship cause of my sex needs ? Should i mementioned to him that I know he masturbates ? Of course I have the evidence on the underwear which he clean with it !!
At some point you have to ask yourself, how many times am I going to tell him I am unhappy in this relationship? Maybe the third times the charm, as they say. He may actually be tired from work or stress or just daily living, but these things needs to be communicated so you two are on the same page with respect to your relationship. Further, are you ready to possibly open up a can of worms with stating that you know he masturbates?
Why is that bad ?? You think !!
I just want him to know that why he does that and not look for me ! Maybe he is not on to me anymore
Well, I think that since you videotaped some where in your home, he may feel that there's a sense of trust that was lost with that. Think about how you might feel if someone videotaped you without your knowledge then came to you with evidence of something private -- how would you feel? what might you say to them? what thoughts might be going through your head?
Well I got your point ! And I would be a little upset !! But my question is i woold not going to reveal that I have a camera I just going to mentioned about the underwear. That's the evidence !!
Again, I am going to play devils advocate and ask you -- why might you be looking at his underwear that closely? Is this something he might think of? It just seems like this might be something you really want to consider before bringing up, I could see it going south very quickly discussing it.
So I guess I just keep quite and be unhappy !!
That's not what I am saying -- what I am saying is that you need to discuss how to bring the spark back into your relationship
Start working on other areas of intimacy -- cooking him a fancy dinner, giving him a back massage, watching his favorite tv show or sports game, buying his favorite beer or soda. These are ways to bring the intimacy back into your love life.
So the masturbation part is out of the subject ? How can I mentioned about my feelings hurt cause he does not give me more sex !!
Hello I do all that ! Believe me !! And that is not helping
Okay, well I did not know that you've tried that before. If you were to walk in on him masturbating, I would then say it would be appropriate to discuss or you could tip toe around the subject, making a statement such as "you know before we were having sex x amount of times a week and now we are not, do you ever feel sexually frustrated? if so, what are you doing to concur that? I feel sexually frustrated since we are not having sex as much any more." You can also flat our say that your feelings are hurt because you're not having sex as often