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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5823
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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My husband left 2 months ago. I feel it is better without him.

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My husband left 2 months ago. I feel it is better without him. I am confused about going to a lawyer. How do I know if he is just doing this to hurt me and I am sometimes afraid he will want to come back and I don't think I want that. I am a very sensitive person and am scared he will feel pain and give me a hard time to get a divorce.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It is understandable that you are unsure of how to proceed with your situation. If your husband left, then there was some issue he had with the marriage. And it is not unusual for spouses who leave to express anger at the other spouse, even if their anger is unfounded and over the top for the situation. So your caution about your next move is reasonable.

However, if your husband left you and has not provided any support for his children, then you need to protect yourself and find out your options. The best way to do that is with support, including an attorney. What you talk about with an attorney is private so you can express your concerns and the attorney can let you know what options you have to protect yourself, your assets and your children. He/she can also tell you more about what options your husband has and if he is allowed to give you a difficult time with the divorce.

It is also normal to not be sure what your husband is feeling or has in mind about your marriage. He may want to come back but if you do not want him there with you, you have the right to say no. And if he does try to push the issue, you can involved the police if needed. It probably would not come to that, but it helps to think through your options and plan out what you would respond with in case your husband does decide to try to get back together with you.

A situation like this is very stressful. Therefore, you should not handle it alone. Try to build up your support through family and friends. Also, try talking to others who have been through a divorce. They will understand what you are dealing with and can help you as the divorce goes through. You can find support either on line or in person through divorce support groups. Churches also often provide divorce groups. If you attend a church or have ones in your community, you can talk to the pastor about your options.

Most of all, take care of yourself through this difficult time. You are under a lot of stress. Try to take a break here and there, go out of town (if possible) and rely on family and friends to help you. Also consider therapy. The support can help you feel better and less stressed no matter what happens.

I hope this has helped you,
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