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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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This question is a relationship-with-self/identity question

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This question is a relationship-with-self/identity question really. I can't decide whether or not to commit to substantial financial investment and buy a second property, or keep the "freedom" I have earned already by paying off a significant portion of my home loan. I am drawn to the investment idea and have found a property I love, but I am nervous about the commitment. What if I want to take a salary decrease in future to work part-time or if I decide to go travelling. What if I meet a partner (I'd like to) and we together have different ideas about investing as a couple, vs how I would go as a single person. I am really torn as I want this investment property, and I think it's a good financial decision and I might even live in that place one day as it's closer to the city centre, but I want my freedom and flexibility too..and Im worried commiting myself into "single person investment plan" could energetically make it more difficult for me to meet someone. What do you think? thanks
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

You did not mention the option of buying this new property and selling your current property to obtain additional moneys, or renting your current property to finance your new property's mortgage payments.

If this is not a feasible option (and you have probably thought of it already but just didn't mention it), then I believe that you should not hamper yourself with further debt.

When (not if) you meet someone with whom you wish to enter a relationship, or if you wish to go travelling (and if you don't do it now if will be harder to do when you become even more established) then you will be stymied by this property.

I know that you want to consider both sides, but you are being severely tempted and lured by the promise of making a good investment. You have no guarantees of success and you will then be owned by your property as much as you own it. You will be painting yourself into a corner and may feel trapped.

Keep your freedom while you can. Hard times may be ahead in this very unstable world political situation. Keep you freedom. Keep your personal options open.

Other opportunities will come along. Remember the Sirens who lured the sailors to shipwreck by drawing them every closer to the dangerous rocky coastline. Temptation is a strong force but I believe, reading between the lines of your question, that you will best consolidate your mortgage loan and enjoy your freedom.

In a sense, you are close to being free but are a bit intimidated by it because you don't know how to use it. Instead you have found a way to delay the moment of release by shackling yourself to property.

You have have remorse by letting this "opportunity" pass, but you will have more remorse, I believe, if you let your other "opportunity" of freedom from debt, pass.

I wish you great success and happiness.

Warm regards,

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks - I was thinking the same deep down and I really appreciate your honest/direct answer. I have a few more days to decide so will continue to mull it over, and try on the different options for size.

I certainly take your point on board re shackling myself to debt to prevent personal growth...I really DON'T want to do that, but I just wish I were rich enough to own 2 properties but perhaps I just need to let that go

I COULD sell my current property to buy this new one but there's really no point as I'm happy with where I live - the purpose would be for investments' sake...

thanks again, I will most likely ask for you if I have another question as you're great!


Dear friend,

Thank you so much for your kind words. You are doing the best thing by letting it pass. There will be ample opportunity for investment in future, and you will gain a tremendous advantage and income by paying off the mortgage now.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

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