Deardebra : Thank you so much for your question and I am so sorry for your loss. Losing an animal is very heart breaking but remembering those moments that you created keeps the memory if them alive in your hearts. I am sure you remember many memories with your dog and I am sure your step daughter does too as well. I think a direct message too her is how you need to communicate because her mother might not be giving her the messages. Your step daughter knows you care and love her but she backed away.
Deardebra : The reason could be because her mother consumes her time.
Deardebra : If they eat the same dress the same then they sound like best friends as well.
Deardebra : Which does not make much room for someone else. When you went to the wake again I am sorry for your loss. You step daughter was upset and she went to you both for comfort what that shows me is she feels safe with you both. You are the ones she would go to if something went wrong. She loves you both but does not know how to create a relationship again. She doesn't know what step to take to start again with you both.
Deardebra : You both need to keep that door open making her feel comfortable to come back in to your lives. She sounds confused and dies not know what to do. Often times people back away from The ones they love the most because they feel they will understand.
Deardebra : But something has happened that altered this relationship between you both and that Ned's to be discussed for everyone to move on together.
Deardebra : You need to tell her that you love and care about her and that you really want to have a relationship with her because you live and miss her. You could send a letter too her or an email telling her how you feel. It is never too late to start again.
Deardebra : I just feel she does not know where to begin.
Deardebra : This is why you both need to take that first step and try getting her on the phone, email what ever way you feel is the best way to communicate.
Deardebra : Her graduating is a huge time in her life and it often is a confusing time on where their lives are headed. They often think if the future and what they want to become. She needs you both there but she doesn't realize it. She wants to keep her guard up. But she needs to understand how much you care and love her. I would contact her again about giving her something for graduation. That is a nice gesture and very thoughtful. I am sure she was happy that you both were thinking if her at such a huge moment in her life. But I think she is worried to start over. She might feel like so much has happened and it can't be repaired but you need to tell her that all you both want is to be in her life and nothing else matters.
Customer: Honestly that is all we have been is supportive .
Customer: She will not respond to any text, voice mail letter.
Customer: The message we left about her/our dog was again kind. She loved you We love you .Please get in touch. Your Dad has something for you.
Customer: Neither one has returned the calls. Never unkind to the mother. Always supported her when she was shunned.
Customer: SD knows she will not do anything. Now think that since our best friend's Dad was also her friend's father that she was just there for her and not us. Mother came to escort her since she did not know them at all.
Customer: I think what you are saying is true, but when the mother said don't give up and now does not respond to me it just feels like something
Customer: horrible. If SD can't leave a message or send a text about a sweet little dog that never hurt anyone. Well Imfind that chilling in nature.
Customer: Her Dad is completely devastated to have a hard person like this as a daughter.
Customer: We would love to talk to her, but we would have to lie in wait and ambush her somewhere .
Customer: She does not even email.
Customer: I think she had her mothe with her because it would be face to face and needed a buffer.
Customer: The ironic thing is we are the least demanding people on the planet, so if she is afraid to interact with us then what ?
Customer: Maybe the dog represents the sweetness in her that is completely gone. We were the only people she ever cried around.
Customer: My sis in law is fed up and asked the mother what is going on. She stated I don't know she'll figure it out. Meanwhile not knowing this pain.
Customer: I want to ask the mother what she meant by don't give up and what gives now? Maybe she can remember the pain of being shunned for two weeks and develop some empathy for us after two and a half years. Or maybe she is happy that she has a BFF. We don't need much. Dinner once a month a call . We would not be taking up time. SD must not be too upset . She is sitting by the pool today.
Customer: and went on a day trip all day yesterday.
Customer: So the memories of our time together and how sweet she was with our precious dog for over 10 years must be gone or are buried.
Customer: We fear that is the case with all her memories surrounding us and we see no way they can return .
Customer: Please let me know if you have any suggestions for a way to see her if there is never a response.
Customer: The only reason we are still trying is because her future looks bleak allowing this coldness to permeate her life.
Customer: I don't think anyone else cares. Mother said you hurt the ones you love the most to me during the two weeks she did not speak to her but I guess we are the ones . . .
Customer: I am not sure I read correctly when you said "sometimes you. back away from the people you love the most because they will understand " Is that correct ? If so please expand .
Customer: Can you explain how we could have more direct communication with this avoidance ?
Customer: A year ago she did not even open an e greeting . . .
Customer: We feel like our messages provide her a map to start again, but her new personality does not accept it.
Customer: We have completely kept the door open but the feeling we get is she doesn't care.
Customer: I do agree that if there was a major emergency , say the aliens were hostile and about to land, that she would call us because we are
Customer: the go to emergency people for her and were for her mother before all this .
Customer: We don't know how else to tell her we love and miss her after all of the attempts.
Customer: Again shocked that she did not at least text a message. You can even leave a voice mail without ringing the phone if she does not want us to pick up. It seems all too much trouble for her and our family is not worth the trouble. The loss of our dog really now makes us want to really shake things up with both of them and no longer be disrespected and ignored.
Customer: I know they will just bond more over it but someone needs to stand up for the memory of the animal they professed to love so much.
Customer: Thank you again for your time.
Customer: The nothing else matters part you stated is what we want to express but I think she is almost afraid of a message like that.