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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5334
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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I have an issue that I still get angry about from time to time.

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I have an issue that I still get angry about from time to time. It causes me anxiety too.

I get upset if someone tells me they're "better" than me. It's only been a few people in my life who have told me that, but the stuff they say goes something like:

"I'm more ambitious than you", "You're not my equal". Or they brag about the way they have lived their lives. If you talk about something you're happy about, they might point out the things in your life you didn't do or didn't succeed in. If you disagree with them, they might say you're wrong and and argue with you until doomsday how their way of living is better.

How do someone think or deal with such a situation. It's just annoying to me and makes me angry sometimes.

Hi! It's nice to hear from you again.

First, I need to say that everyone gets upset when someone says things like, "I'm more ambitious than you", "You're not my equal". No one likes to have themselves compared to someone else in an unfavorable way. And especially when that someone else we're being compared to is that person who's talking! That's very rude, don't you agree?

And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. You're focusing on your feeling of anger and disappointment as if the problem is yours. But the problem is not in you, it's in that person who is either egocentric, rude, or has some other problem.

My point is that we all react negatively to such a statement. But we don't then turn on ourselves for being negative. We recognize that we are justified in being displeased by this person's statement as we didn't ask for a judgment of us to be made. We recognize, then, that the problem is in that person, not in us.

And that's how we handle this. We say to ourselves, "Wow, he's/she's certainly full of himself/herself. I certainly want to be more careful around them."

We always gather information about people that let's us know if we want a relationship to move closer or stay where it is or become less close. This type of information let's us know that we want to be less close with that person, or at best, XXXXX XXXXX stay where it is. The key, again, though is that we don't make it our problem. We accept that the bad behavior was that person's and it's his or her problem.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

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Dr. Mark and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Hi! I'm very glad that I was able to help you with this. I appreciate your positive rating and thank you so much for the bonus as well. If I can help you in the future in any way, please don't hesitate to let me know.

All the best,
Dr. Mark