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Hello. I have just come out of a 2 year relationship where

we lived together. My boyfriend...
Hello. I have just come out of a 2 year relationship where we lived together. My boyfriend split up with me due to my insecurity. This guy never loved me and told me this when I asked a year into our relationship. My insecurities were not feeling worthy of him and not feeling secure. When we went out I would notice he wouldn't make eye contact with me and it really bothered me. The big issue for me now is am I insecure or did my partner make me insecure by not loving me? He was a great guy and never really did anything wrong. Do I need to do some work on myself to make sure I never feel like this again within a relationship. In the past I have been cheated on and disrespected, maybe this has contributed to this?
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Answered in 16 minutes by:
8/14/2013
Karin Samms
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 300
Experience: with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
Verified
Hi there, welcome to Just Answer. I will try and help you with your question.

I'm sorry that you are going through this at the moment. It seems that your insecurities may well have played a role in how you've ended up feeling but his demonstration and admittance to not loving you has also simply made your insecurities a lot worse.

You would do well to seek some support through counseling, which can be a really positive step for you. It will enable you to understand what is going on and where this insecurity stems from and also how you begin to resolve these feelings of insecurity and potentially low self esteem.

Your boyfriend may well have broken up with you due to insecurities but he did tell you he didn't love you, so your reactions and responses would have been completely normal to such a disclosure.

In order to fully understand whether your insecurities were a result of your boyfriend's lack of love and affection or whether its something much more deeper, you would need to explore further in counseling. The fact that you have been cheated on and disrespected has most likely made things that much worse for you too; so you are not entirely to blame here but it is important that you get a good understanding in terms of how you can make things better for yourself and improve your behaviors and trust that you ARE worthy of love, affection and to be cared for.

Here is a link that might help you search for a therapist locally: http://www.goodtherapy.org/canada-counseling.htm

I do hope this is helping, please do come back to me for further assistance and support if you need it, I'd rather support you as much as possible and receive a positive rating and I'd be more than happy to continue supporting you until you feel satisfied.
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If I have answered your question, kindly rate my service positively before you leave the site so I may be credited for my time. If you choose to rate me anything less than positive, please do come back to me and I will clarify further or support your query further. Your question will not close and I will continue to support your question. Bonuses are always appreciated.

Kindest Regards, Karin

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Hi L,

Here is another website to search for counselors, I hope it helps! Best of luck and take care.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/

If I have answered your question, kindly rate my service positively before you leave the site so I may be credited for my time. If you choose to rate me anything less than positive, please do come back to me and I will clarify further or support your query further. Your question will not close and I will continue to support your question. Bonuses are always appreciated.

Kindest Regards, Karin
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Hi there,

I wondered whether you've had a chance to read my response to you. Are you happy with my response so far? I have been thinking about your situation and if I can help any further, please don't hesitate to come back to me.

If I have answered your question, kindly rate my service positively before you leave the site so I may be credited for my time. If you choose to rate me anything less than positive, please do come back to me and I will clarify further or support your query further. Your question will not close and I will continue to support your question. Bonuses are always appreciated.

With my very best wishes,
Karin
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Hi Karin,


Yes thank you for your response, I think I will go and see a counselor just in case as I want to feel better about myself in relationships whether they work or not.


Thank you for your advise I do believe this guy made be feel unworthy of him.


Leanne

Hi Leanne,

Good for you! It's really important that you find someone that you feel comfortable talking to in counseling. I hope you can find someone to work with soon and I wish you well.

Please don't forget to rate my service with a three or higher before you leave the site so that I am compensated for my time.

Take good care of yourself.

Karin :)
Karin Samms
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 300
Experience: with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
Verified
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Karin Samms
Karin Samms
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 300
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Experience: with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues

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